Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for January 19, 2023

Like Grant, my older brother’s older son has two middle names: the first is after the lad’s paternal grandfather and the second is after his maternal grandfather.

Where did the corny jokes go? I miss them.

Just what we need, another Uranus joke, about where the Sun don’t shine. Can our banned jokesters please be allowed back from the outer solar system.

I believe Grant’s humongo thing got caught out in the open once!

I bet a leg less lizard tastes like chicken. Too bad you can’t get a leg.

Uranus is mostly gas, I think.

They’ll only fit if you relax.

TMI!! I don’t want to know what could fit in Uranus! I’m not into astronomy…

Several good joke tellers have been banned by GoComics, a few for only minor infractions OR the result of a flagging vendetta. And now GoComics themselves show yet another extremely crude Uranus “factoid”, comic or whatever you want to call it? If one of the regulars here posted that, we’d be told how wrong we were by the same old predictable Do-Gooders! No doubt a PRIME example of Double Standards which can be seen by anybody with an I.Q. higher than their shoe size! This used to be a REALLY fun place to come have a laugh and yes, sometimes even actually LEARN something from the days Ripley offerings or the replies from intelligent folks. Monkeysky comes to mind as a fine example of a knowledgeable person willing to share learning with us. If you don’t agree with me on this, that’s fine and it’s your right not to. But I don’t need to hear from the one “Most Likely To Be Annoyingly Repetitive In Their Reply”. I know his song like an earworm. Everybody have a really great day today!

from eromlig – - – - – – (4 short & separate posts)

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about 6 hours ago on Ripley’s Believe It or Not

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Thanks, Pete. Yeah, I’m re-banned, apparently. And still no clue why. I’ve been hectoring the mods, but no reply other than the standard auto-bot “We’ve marked this as solved” crud. Keep up what you’re doing! And HELL yes I would do the same for you. You’re one of Us, after all.

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Go away, Quisling.

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I’m here!! Can anyone see me????

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Is that a two-part doggie??

If the earth is the third planet from the sun..

Wouldn’t that make all countries third world countries?

Little Known Fact

In Ireland there is a tradition that holds that a dying man may ask one last question, and that it be answered truthfully.

Seamus had come to the end of his days; his time on this planet was short. Gathered around him was his wife and his four sons. Three of his sons were fine, tall men but the fourth…wasn’t. Aiden was a bit scrawny, and quite thin. Seamus says to his wife:

“Mary…I’ve not much time left. So I want to ask you something that’s bothered me for many a day. Please tell me the truth…is Aiden really my son?”

Mary says “Seamus, as God is my witness I swear on all that’s good and holy that Aiden is indeed your child.”

With that Seamus breathed a sigh of relief, his last breath in this world. Mary closed his eyes, pulled the blanket over his face and said:

“Whew…thank God he didn’t ask about the other three!”

Sorry- not a Uranus story – YET!

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John was in the fertilized egg business.

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Saint Lawrence County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and scr*wing them when they weren’t paying attention.

Patient: “Doctor, am I going to be alright?”

Doctor: “I’m not too sure, Mercury is in Uranus now”

Patient: “But I don’t know much about astronomy and space”

Doctor: “Neither do I, but I do know that my thermometer just snapped inside you."

If you ain’t DONE IT YET, click the ‘Like’ on the petition at: (yesterday)

https://www.gocomics.com/ripleysbelieveitornot/2023/01/18?ct=v&cti=2456384

that’s signifies your signature . . . there is a purpose to it! and get your friends over here to sign it too if they agree

I resent the implication of what fits in…. Oh, never mind.

Still under suspension with no idea why!

Chihal – – – https://www.gocomics.com/profile/2018972

eromlig – – – https://www.gocomics.com/profile/175826

stevesilver48 – – – https://www.gocomics.com/profile/3004280

Tuco – – – https://www.gocomics.com/profile/3182121

`````Send enquiries to: moderator@gocomics.com

Heh, heh, you said “Uranus.”

63 Earths? I could never fit that many…

We’re all thinking it… Just don’t say it.

Ouch! I thought a Prostrate exam was bad.

Just a bit of an aside here, about suspensions. Yes, I too was suspended, and still have no idea why. I suspect it may have been a comment I made on a different site to someone totally unrelated to this one, and he may have flagged me, or maybe he didn’t. I’ll never know!

I was (for some time) harboring ill feelings towards that person, which may well have been misplaced.

It does no one any good to be left in the dark about how they contravened the ‘Comment Policy’. The only way to not re-offend is to know what the offense was in the first place.

W.C>FIELDS(playing golf)—-“I shall now take my usual stance!”

CHARLIE MC CARTHY—“I wouldn’t do that.The grass is still a little damp”.

A Hugh Mungo John . . .

from – - – - – Tuco

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about 2 hours ago on Ripley’s Believe It or Not

Stole this from a friend:

It would suck if the world ended today because I would never have found out who let the dogs out, the way to get to Sesame Street, why Dora doesn’t just use Google maps, why we don’t ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”, why “abbreviated” is such a long word, why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish washing liquid is made with real lemons, why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections, why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going to? Why do you sit in the stands? Why do you drive in a parkway but park in a driveway? Why did Joanie love Chachi? Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Does the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star have the same tune? And why did you just try to sing those two previous songs? And just what is Victoria’s secret? You see…. the world just has to keep going…..

Re 63 earths, maybe if it was Kim K.??

I thought this was an Astronomy fact, not a personal comment

About 1,300 Earths can fit inside Jupiter and 700 inside Saturn

Hugh Mungo must have been named to honor Mungo Jerry!!!

“Earth Saturn Uranus?”

“Absolutely not! Jupiter?”

“What? No! I don’t even know ’er!”

I think the artist used a photo of John Elway as his model for Hugh Grant.

eromlig is BACK -everyone

And he’s got a great joke, you can catch it as a reply to kathy shellorne’s featured comment. Give him a shout out!

Who’s uranus? One of the Kardashians? It is big enough.

There, you got your lame joke. lol

Hugh Grant was last seen in a parked car with a woman who thought his name was Hugh Mungo, but she was disappointed

I guess stuffing earth balls in your butt will be the next Tick Tock challenge

…come on…too easy.

They wouldn’t fit in Myanus!!!

I guess golf jokes are safe. Hope so cause here we go Pykiff! This might be an old one but who cares besides that one guy?

Noting that her husband looked more haggard and disgruntled than usual after his weekly golf game, his wife asked what was wrong.He answered, “Well, on the 4th hole, Harry had a heart attack and died. It was terrible! The entire rest of the day, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry!”

The Uranus joke was corny…

The planetary item sounds like it could have been written by Ruben Bolling.

Ouch

Well, we had a lotta a$$inine jokes today, right?