Cornered by Mike Baldwin for September 30, 2022

Produced by the "Gall"mark Company.

From the Goldilocks greeting card company. Their cards are “just right”.

It seems Goldilocks went on to start a greeting cards company.

Not Too Expensive

Is the 39-cent card shop still in business?

Since cards are ridiculously expensive, I buy blank note cards and write a sentiment especially for the person I’m giving it to….

They are also known as “BUT” Cards: as in “Serious BUT not too Serious”

and “Mushy BUT not too Mushy” and “Funny BUT not too Funny”.

This is not to be confused with the BUTT section: where you can see some Serious Butts, Mushy Butts, and Funny Butts.

I’d like to see a Melancholy Section since we all seem to be stressed and depressed. The first one would bemoan the cost of the cards.

It would be helpful (to me) to have greeting cards sorted this way.And when I am Queen of the World, they will be. 1) Plus, the cereal aisle will be alphabetized: All Bran on the upper left, Wheaties down on the lower right, ditto toothpastes, shampoos, soap…; 2) it will be against the law to re-arrange a store;3) by law, all chain stores grocery stores will be laid out the same way so that, if you are in Portland Maine, Oregon, or Arkansas, you can find what you need efficiently.

I’ve got plans, my friends.

Buy ‘em a T-shirt instead. They can always re-gift it it it doesn’t suit their use. You can’t re-gift a hallmark card.

If only

Generic cards for all situations, when you feel like not giving your best.

Must be the $1 card section if they’re all that mediocre.

but mainly not too sincere…

$ ree, Family Dollar, Dollar General…. The stamps cost more than the cards.