Luann Againn by Greg Evans for July 21, 2021

Well, it seems pretty clear that Frank LOST the “To Paint or Not to Paint” argument.

And get flat Antique White, Frank. :)

In a minute he’s gonna stuff a paint brush in the kids mouth.

Classic example of a poor salesman. “What do you need to paint? – I would suggest this … or this.” Give the man 2, max. 3, choises, and he’ll be happy.

There are so many shades of white it’s really ridiculous.

Suddenly, I’m off white.

Dad might be there for a while.

Is this before thing like ordinary bloody coffee got complicated?

“Whatever is on sale.”

There’s one called “painter’s white”.

“I want ‘Himeji Castle White’.”

“Um. Don’t think we’ve got that one?”

“Seriously?!? OK, well., I’ll just have to take a look at all of these and see which one comes nearest…”

Names mean nothing until you get a test patch up on the wall (if the colour is deep, I slap the paint on a sheet of copier paper and hold it up in place). We once bought a really subtle-looking, ever-so-slight-hint-of-yellow “daffodil white”. Looked great on the tin, on the swatches and even when we opened the tin. But when it dried… Quite a strong yellow. Not white at all, and not remotely what we wanted.

Whitever’s the matter with him?!

whichever white paint he buys will not match the wall.

For jobs that I want to repaint the same color; I keep some can lids with the formula code, that way they just scan that and new paint is mixed forthwith. :-)

WELCOME TO REALITY, FRANK!

Does anybody remember Zolatone: the speckled finish popular in the mid 50s?

The colors, Man. The colors!!

This is still true today. Nancy should have gone.

There’s a wonderful passage in John Barth’s The Sot-Weed Factor where the protagonist Ebenezer Cooke, under the mistaken impression that he has been appointed Poet Laureate of Maryland, in the New World, seeks to buy a notebook into which to write his poems. The printer explains the options and the advantages of each—cardboard or leather binding; ruled or unruled; thin or fat; folio or quarto. Eben ends up drawing a sword on the printer when faced with the sixteen possible notebooks he can buy.

That is why you bring some in or the receipt or the swatch to match it.

Magnetic?

And so begins the treacherous journey into the unending heart of darkness that is DIY Home Improvement. The horror. The horror.