Close to Home by John McPherson for November 18, 2020

That Bleeb that’s one little alien that gets around.

I would fumigate the house now!!!

Sounds like the best of both worlds.

Best reason to love mowing, exercising and if you get hurt you only few feet away from home :D

Right, you don’t need that when you’ve got your own creepy guy.

Eventually the creepy guys will set up their chairs on the sidewalk and claim to be retired personal trainers. Some will have coolers by their side and others will have the helmet with the cans and plastic straw strapped to them.

“Must be jelly ‘cause jam don’t shake like that.” SMOOOOTH talking.

Sounds to me like she had other stuff going on.

What if they set their porches next to you?

Traffic hazard!

Kind of hard to take that treadmill in every night to keep it dry.

What a great idea. Even if you don’t use it, it will kill some grass that you won’t have to mow. Woo Hoo!

Now we just turn to our buddies and make a quiet comment.

Ain’t gonna happen…

When it rains, she gets exercise from lugging it back inside.

So now you have creepy neighbors and an inquisitive alien watching you who think you are wacko.

It’s not a “fine line” between whistling and stalking!

Dear Miss Adams,

I understand why you would want to jog around the neighborhood or other places in town, without all the catcalls, whistling, and yelling that some guys do when women are jogging. Albeit unnecessary for them to do that, and however unwanted it is by you, I’m sure it’s just guys being guys… no harm intended.

However, when you start calling people names, it can get very hurtful! I cannot help the name I was born with, and hope this can be resolved.

Sincerely,

Creep E. Guy

I got tired of the hateful looks from today’s “women” so I don’t even pretend to notice them, don’t hold doors open for them, or act in any ways like they exist! Life is good!

Creepy guys ruin a lot of things! I have a treadmill, but moving it is more of a workout than I care to do. At our last house in So Cal, we had a huge screened in patio where we kept the treadmill and it was nice to exercise outdoors.

If you’re a character in this man’s cartoon, no way anyone’s gonna want to whistle at you.

Well, that’s definitely one solution to that problem.

She is a liar and still wants to attract attention. If she meant what she says, she would be in her backyard. It is completely weird to put that in her front yard.

I would think she would be grateful for the compliment.