Stone Soup by Jan Eliot for March 16, 2011

Sometimes you have to let your kids know that they can’t have toaster oven quesadillas every night because they want them. The parent decides what is to be eaten, but they don’t force it.

A quick glass of cold water in the face will make sure they don’t. Nope, won’t drown them either…didn’t mine. Only took once.

I’m with Evie – if you’re not hungry enough to eat what’s in front of you, you’re not hungry enough. That’s how my mom did it, that’s how I do it … and it’s worked pretty well so far.

RAYANNINIA—–right on. I told my two boys when they wouldn’t eat what’s in front of them, they could sit there until they did. You know what? They did eat it…..and didn’t kill them.

I always find that “Fine, you don’t want to eat it, you don’t have to eat it. BUT… that’s it! There’s nothing else. and there is no dessert or anything else unless your main meal is eaten.” works quite well. My grandson hates my rules but he eats :-) The main thing is to be strong and consistent. Don’t give in to emotional blackmail.

And there are times when kids simply aren’t hungry; just like grownups. But I get cross when they then get rewarded with sweet things because the parents can’t bear to think of them going hungry.

heh well, here the rule is: You don’t like the food, take one bite, then you can have something else (or the rest of what’s on your plate, if you only don’t like one of the ingredients, olives or something). Next time the kids still have to taste the food, even though they didn’t like it the last time. Get the kids’ tastebuds used to new things.

Result: My kids will eat anything, even though it might take a few times, we, the parents get our rule enforced and everyone’s happy.

Totally agree with OldPossum about rewarding pickiness with sweets, def the worst thing to do.

Kids who think they’re in control… Hmm like when they do the rubber legs thing when they don’t want to leave the toy aisle? They collapse on the floor in a heap of tantrum. I said “Ok fine, see you later we’re going home” The legs quickly regained their rigidity and they were holding my hand tightly and behaving extremely well. that only took once too.

Have a friend that makes dinner, the boys can eat it or go make THEMSELVES one PB&J. Oh, and she still makes them clean the kitchen after dinner. I think there has only been once or twice that the oldest balked at what she made. granted the boys are 6 and 9 and are already eating her out of house and home,

kreole: “I told my two boys when they wouldn’t eat what’s in front of them, they could sit there until they did. You know what? They did eat it…..and didn’t kill them. ”

No, but it likely reinforced their loathing of the unwanted stuff, adding resentment to what had previously been a simple question of taste.

My nephew is a picky eater, and my brother and sister-in-law are of the “If you eat two spoonfulls, you may be excused from the rest” school. He’s still too young to make his own alternatives, but there’s usually a store of sliced bolgna or cheese available in a pinch.

From age 3-6 each of my boys hardly ate anything at dinner because they were such picky eaters and we have the rule that “this is what’s available to eat until tomorrow.” And, of course, “you must try a bite of it.”

Now the older 2 (ages 7 & 9) will usually find a way to get the food down (we allow any sauces they want - amazing what gets peanut butter and ketchup on it around here) because they don’t get dessert until the food on their plate (a portion appropriate for their age/size) is eaten.

So Joan, be ready to stick to your guns for YEARS. Like I said, it was age 3-6 that they usually refused dinner. But they are all healthy, active boys. Yes, they are thin, but the doctor says they are all at healthy weights!

Good luck!

I don’t remember being picky at kids. My mom told me she would use frozen vegtable then when she went to can vegtables she said my sister and I didn’t want can but frozen type. We grew up now it makes no difference. Except I go to a place to get canned veg’s at a cheaper price. My daughter likes raw or cooked spinich.

Joah I agree with mom don’t let Max take over. He will survive. Battle of wills.

I was babysitting a real picky eater one time that didn’t want what I made for supper. I just let him sit in front of his plate until supper was over. I didn’t fuss at him but I took his supper when it was time to clean up, and he didn’t get anything else until time for the next meal. I was amazed at how ‘unpicky’ he was by then.

There is a Boston Pizza commercial here in Canada that I really hate! The kid wont eat, parents make it look like a police interrogation, then the commercial says “when he wont eat what you have,, take him here”,, excuse me? treat him to a restaurant when he won’t eat at home?? I don’t think so!

I agree with most of the comments here. It’s mostly a battle of the wills, and a lot of parents don’t have the spine to stand up to their “precious princes and princesses”. Being a good parent is not for the weak.

Didn’t daddy pass away?

It’s time to fire the show runner.

Heh,my kids probably think I’m horrible. I say eat what you like, leave what you don’t, if you go to bed hungry it’s your own fault but this is what’s for dinner. Nagging and temper tantrums fall on deaf ears. In case of the latter, I just remove them from earshot of other people and don’t say anything.

I agree with most also- raised my 4 kids in the 60s-70s and I grew up in the 40s-50s (reusing paper goods and kneading nasty old margarine to make it yellow. I now eat mostly just what I cook- whole grains and no sugars or “prepared” foods. I try to make every thing I eat as authentic and healthy as possible.

I had cousins when we were kids and stayed with us, their mom warned my mom and they also said only thing they would eat was tomato soup. My mom made a very good meal with fried chicken. She bribed them and they would eat didn’t get the bribe found out there other meals more feeling. There adults now I don’t know how picky they are as adults.

For Thursday may the luck of the Irish be with everyone for St. Patty’s day. I’m not Iris either. Don’t most people plant gardents St. Patty’s day?

I had a cousin who ONLY ate macaroni and cheese growing up. Nothing else (seriously). For all meals. Did this for YEARS from about 3yo. When he turned 10, he added chicken nuggets and toast to the mix. But still refused to eat anything else. As a teen, he added pizza. That’s it. I SWORE he would end up with diabetes from eating all those carbs, but actually, the doctors always said he was a healthy weight. Dr said as long as he was healthy, let him eat whatever he wanted. Wasn’t until he finished HS and started working that he expanded his menu to include other items like (OH MY!) steak!

True story.