Animal Crackers by Mike Osbun for December 23, 2019

That sounds like fun!

Dodo: “Will there be female ice-skaters?”

Experienced retirees know to stay home till after the first of the year.

I went to a mall on Christmas eve one year a long time ago – stopped for a double shot of tequila as soon as I arrived – then calmly walked around and enjoyed watching the panic in everyone’s eyes. Quite enjoyable evening!

Ummmm no thanks! Don’t we have to wrap tonight?

I like watching people steal slots in mall parking lots. ’Specially when they forget about ubiquitous security cameras and cell phones.

The Mrs and I, and later our girls, did that from 1993 until 2015. As much fun as April 15th at the post office.

Nah, I’ll catch it from a safe distance, on TV.

Commonly known as zombieland. Glazed eyes, shuffling gait, mumbling incoherently.

Get there early and grab a nice bench near the food court. Lots of fun chaos to watch.