Yeah…a person could be very certain…but to be wrong could be very devastating to a marriage which is why wives suffer in silence until they absolutely have evidence. Clues are not enough. I had a friend who suspected her husband was having an affair due to numerous suspicious activities but she kept quiet until she saw her ex get out of the bed to go to the basement where his office is and she quietly followed. She caught him on a video call with his mistress, talking dirty, she disrobed, and then they talked about their upcoming weekend plans. Bingo. She walked into the screen and waved hi to the mistress. She woke the children, put on coats, told her ex he was to pack and be gone by morning. She took the children to a motel and stayed awake to talk to lawyer the first thing in the morning. She was shocked that his ex was so taken with the mistress he willingly surrendered custody of the children and gave her the house. She laughed when she learned the mistress was married and to a well-to-do husband and had no intention of leaving him. He lost everything. She was right to wait.
All too often, affairs are a fling with no real love involved. There have been many women who ignore their husbands’ indiscretions, because they know that the affairs mean nothing to their husbands. My only concern would be the possibility of getting a STD. Often, the women who entice a man to cheat are highly promiscuous. (My sister, always single, was only attracted to married men who couldn’t or wouldn’t leave their spouses. This helped her feel safe from having to get married. She NEVER wanted to get married.)
I suspected, he would shower “just to hang with the guys” would tell me excuses such as “we can’t afford the sitter”, “you won’t enjoy where we’re going” “you look too tired”…then the day I told him no, he asked why, I said, I don’t share. He said if I didn’t bother thinking about continuing my education he wouldn’t be getting it elsewhere. I gave him a timeline of my college start date compared to his “outings”. There was a 3 month gap from his “other life” to my first day of school. He was shocked that I wasn’t so gullible.
My ex brazenly flaunted his numerous flings, because I had no proof. His favorite line was, “People at work are saying I’m having an affair with (insert name). I don’t understand. They know we are happily married.” One of the first things I did after I finally got the “proof” and sent him packing, was to get tested for HIV.
And of course El doesn’t know the whole story who knows exactly what her friend is doing .possibly maybe she’s driving her husband away because she has become distant or nagging.
My favorite story was the wife that was suspicious about his overnight work, had a friend drive her through the parking lots of the local motels and spotted his car. Got out and prowled the halls until she heard his distinctive laughter. Knowing how long it took for alcohol to take its toll, knocked on the door. Her best – former best – friend answered the door! No bloodshed, no face scratching, just said OUT! She grabbed purse and coat and left. Then she went in and spent the night with him. Next morning, out for breakfast and off to work. Said she had no more trouble with him. Nice ending, no bloodshed, no lawyers but can you imagine him the next morning when he woke up sober! (And probably some interesting phone calls from his office later!)
False accusations can destroy a marriage just as much as an actual affair can. I know someone who did that to their marriage. There was no way for the accused spouse to prove they HADN’T been cheating, so the accusations just kept coming. It felt abusive. Soon, the accused spouse never wanted to see their accuser again. The relationship might have recovered from the affair, had their been one. It didn’t recover from the unjustified accusation.
I remember one time on jury duty, they announced over the PA system, “Since you have to be at the courthouse all day, if you are getting married in the next six months, you can get your marriage license in room XXX. And if you want to file for divorce while you’re here, it’s Room YYY.”
Templo S.U.D. over 5 years ago
every woman’s worry (well, maybe not EVERY woman)
Argythree over 5 years ago
Did this actually happen to Lynn?
capricorn9th over 5 years ago
Yeah…a person could be very certain…but to be wrong could be very devastating to a marriage which is why wives suffer in silence until they absolutely have evidence. Clues are not enough. I had a friend who suspected her husband was having an affair due to numerous suspicious activities but she kept quiet until she saw her ex get out of the bed to go to the basement where his office is and she quietly followed. She caught him on a video call with his mistress, talking dirty, she disrobed, and then they talked about their upcoming weekend plans. Bingo. She walked into the screen and waved hi to the mistress. She woke the children, put on coats, told her ex he was to pack and be gone by morning. She took the children to a motel and stayed awake to talk to lawyer the first thing in the morning. She was shocked that his ex was so taken with the mistress he willingly surrendered custody of the children and gave her the house. She laughed when she learned the mistress was married and to a well-to-do husband and had no intention of leaving him. He lost everything. She was right to wait.
zekepotato over 5 years ago
His ex or her ex?
tatsu10 over 5 years ago
ANNE WANTS TO BE WRONG.
Display over 5 years ago
Rated ex?
M2MM over 5 years ago
All too often, affairs are a fling with no real love involved. There have been many women who ignore their husbands’ indiscretions, because they know that the affairs mean nothing to their husbands. My only concern would be the possibility of getting a STD. Often, the women who entice a man to cheat are highly promiscuous. (My sister, always single, was only attracted to married men who couldn’t or wouldn’t leave their spouses. This helped her feel safe from having to get married. She NEVER wanted to get married.)
jpayne4040 over 5 years ago
That time when you’re absolutely positive, but you don’t know for sure…
keltii over 5 years ago
I suspected, he would shower “just to hang with the guys” would tell me excuses such as “we can’t afford the sitter”, “you won’t enjoy where we’re going” “you look too tired”…then the day I told him no, he asked why, I said, I don’t share. He said if I didn’t bother thinking about continuing my education he wouldn’t be getting it elsewhere. I gave him a timeline of my college start date compared to his “outings”. There was a 3 month gap from his “other life” to my first day of school. He was shocked that I wasn’t so gullible.
well-i-never over 5 years ago
You can’t be wrong if you ask about the new tie and aftershave and then just stare as he answers.
Thechildinme over 5 years ago
My ex brazenly flaunted his numerous flings, because I had no proof. His favorite line was, “People at work are saying I’m having an affair with (insert name). I don’t understand. They know we are happily married.” One of the first things I did after I finally got the “proof” and sent him packing, was to get tested for HIV.
jless over 5 years ago
Lynn’s Notes:
So many truths were there to tell; so many moments of clarity and doubt.
illuminare over 5 years ago
And of course El doesn’t know the whole story who knows exactly what her friend is doing .possibly maybe she’s driving her husband away because she has become distant or nagging.
sschardi over 5 years ago
So…this comic is not current? Is their a current comic strip?
car2ner over 5 years ago
the issue here is that a spouse can be right about a cheater, but doesn’t want to be.
BiathlonNut over 5 years ago
What also hurts is being blamed for something that did not happen, and that was not even fantasized about.
tuslog1964 over 5 years ago
My favorite story was the wife that was suspicious about his overnight work, had a friend drive her through the parking lots of the local motels and spotted his car. Got out and prowled the halls until she heard his distinctive laughter. Knowing how long it took for alcohol to take its toll, knocked on the door. Her best – former best – friend answered the door! No bloodshed, no face scratching, just said OUT! She grabbed purse and coat and left. Then she went in and spent the night with him. Next morning, out for breakfast and off to work. Said she had no more trouble with him. Nice ending, no bloodshed, no lawyers but can you imagine him the next morning when he woke up sober! (And probably some interesting phone calls from his office later!)
jbarnes over 5 years ago
False accusations can destroy a marriage just as much as an actual affair can. I know someone who did that to their marriage. There was no way for the accused spouse to prove they HADN’T been cheating, so the accusations just kept coming. It felt abusive. Soon, the accused spouse never wanted to see their accuser again. The relationship might have recovered from the affair, had their been one. It didn’t recover from the unjustified accusation.
Asharah over 5 years ago
I remember one time on jury duty, they announced over the PA system, “Since you have to be at the courthouse all day, if you are getting married in the next six months, you can get your marriage license in room XXX. And if you want to file for divorce while you’re here, it’s Room YYY.”