Nicely done, John. You’re with them 10 times as much. That will make Elly feel better about her actions and it keeps you from having to give her the real answer to her question.
What’s interesting is that as Michael grows older, John becomes the stricter parent where he’s concerned, and Elly becomes more of an old softie. Then after April is born, Elly becomes the strict one with her — and with Elizabeth!
In most cases, it’s the mother who has to be the disciplinarian because, as John says, she spends the most time around the kids.
Dad inadvertently plays the role of good cop to her bad cop.
Because work ( and divorce ) took me away a great deal, when my kids were growing up, I was usually the cheery, patient parent. The understanding one. The good guy to their mom’s bad guy – which obviously did not sit well with her !
The mother is usually the one responsible for the behavior of the kids, their wardrobe, appearance, and the appearance of the house. I have spent a lot of time on parenting websites, and when the house is messy, nobody ever blames the father. It is because the mother is too lax with the kids or too lazy. Which means that she is going to notice this stuff differently than the father. The father might be annoyed when stepping on a Lego, but he is annoyed at the kids. The mother usually deals with not only the Lego pain, but also the fact that she is considered culpable for its being there. That guilt and judgment means that she is doubly affected by household stuff.
The father, traditionally, might get similar flack for a couple of things- if the house isn’t nice enough on the outside (to show he supported his family- this is changing drastically, though the other is much slower to change), or if the son didn’t know “guy stuff” like changing a tire or mowing a lawn well enough.
To be fair to John, I have not found that exhaustion from work makes me more patient. I have, however, found that time away from the kids (even if it’s at work!) does make me more patient. Getting away from the constant bickering and the kids’ deficiencies makes them easier to take and makes perspective easier.
My husband, on the other hand, comes home and is almost always (95% of the time), who listens to books on tape for a few minutes in the car before coming in the house to calm down, finds something wrong in the house in the first minute or 2 to yell at, even if we’ve cleaned everything and there is one pencil in the wrong place, but he gets over it soon.
And some people are naturally more patient than others. My oldest is easily annoyed. My middle child is calm for a long, long time, but when she explodes, she really explodes. My youngest has by far the most patience. By the time she came around, I had less patience in general, so I know she didn’t learn it from a better example!
I have been ready for Better or for Worse for about 25 years. I just like the comic strip and found no fault with Elly. What am I missing. I was a stay at home mom with three little ones, and they can take a lot out of you. I was tired and grumpy a lot of the time and probably yelled at the kids for things that were minor, but would someone call me a B itch for it. I certainly hope not. When daddy got home he was all smiles and refreshed, even though he put in an eight hour day. There was no naughty behavior for him to witness. I think that is what John feels. He is gone all day and comes home to havoc. When I went to work part time, all was like heaven to me.
Templo S.U.D. almost 6 years ago
the kids that drive John crazy are those in his dentist chair who won’t keep their mouths open as he examines them
Rosette almost 6 years ago
In many families, the father loses his cool just as easily. John must have a gift.
howtheduck almost 6 years ago
Nicely done, John. You’re with them 10 times as much. That will make Elly feel better about her actions and it keeps you from having to give her the real answer to her question.
drogers30 almost 6 years ago
When my wife loses her temper I try to stay calm because it doesn’t do any good if everyone is upset
alviebird almost 6 years ago
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Alondra almost 6 years ago
Well that much should’ve been obvious.
M2MM almost 6 years ago
Sometimes losing one’s temper is necessary to show the kids that they’ve gone too far.
Dixie Lee almost 6 years ago
Just wait they will soon enough be grown and out of the house and you will miss those days.
Lee Cox almost 6 years ago
What’s interesting is that as Michael grows older, John becomes the stricter parent where he’s concerned, and Elly becomes more of an old softie. Then after April is born, Elly becomes the strict one with her — and with Elizabeth!
Linguist almost 6 years ago
In most cases, it’s the mother who has to be the disciplinarian because, as John says, she spends the most time around the kids.
Dad inadvertently plays the role of good cop to her bad cop.
Because work ( and divorce ) took me away a great deal, when my kids were growing up, I was usually the cheery, patient parent. The understanding one. The good guy to their mom’s bad guy – which obviously did not sit well with her !
tuslog1964 almost 6 years ago
Memorial Day coming – In memory of our good friend
MARION B STULTS (AKA WW2 Marine Veteran)8-23-1925 to 3-9-2013 contributor to Go Comics, Gone but not forgotten
BiathlonNut almost 6 years ago
Most likely John is simply too exhausted from his job to lose his temper. Not enough energy left in him.
masnadies almost 6 years ago
The mother is usually the one responsible for the behavior of the kids, their wardrobe, appearance, and the appearance of the house. I have spent a lot of time on parenting websites, and when the house is messy, nobody ever blames the father. It is because the mother is too lax with the kids or too lazy. Which means that she is going to notice this stuff differently than the father. The father might be annoyed when stepping on a Lego, but he is annoyed at the kids. The mother usually deals with not only the Lego pain, but also the fact that she is considered culpable for its being there. That guilt and judgment means that she is doubly affected by household stuff.
The father, traditionally, might get similar flack for a couple of things- if the house isn’t nice enough on the outside (to show he supported his family- this is changing drastically, though the other is much slower to change), or if the son didn’t know “guy stuff” like changing a tire or mowing a lawn well enough.
To be fair to John, I have not found that exhaustion from work makes me more patient. I have, however, found that time away from the kids (even if it’s at work!) does make me more patient. Getting away from the constant bickering and the kids’ deficiencies makes them easier to take and makes perspective easier.
My husband, on the other hand, comes home and is almost always (95% of the time), who listens to books on tape for a few minutes in the car before coming in the house to calm down, finds something wrong in the house in the first minute or 2 to yell at, even if we’ve cleaned everything and there is one pencil in the wrong place, but he gets over it soon.
And some people are naturally more patient than others. My oldest is easily annoyed. My middle child is calm for a long, long time, but when she explodes, she really explodes. My youngest has by far the most patience. By the time she came around, I had less patience in general, so I know she didn’t learn it from a better example!
Angelemia almost 6 years ago
I have been ready for Better or for Worse for about 25 years. I just like the comic strip and found no fault with Elly. What am I missing. I was a stay at home mom with three little ones, and they can take a lot out of you. I was tired and grumpy a lot of the time and probably yelled at the kids for things that were minor, but would someone call me a B itch for it. I certainly hope not. When daddy got home he was all smiles and refreshed, even though he put in an eight hour day. There was no naughty behavior for him to witness. I think that is what John feels. He is gone all day and comes home to havoc. When I went to work part time, all was like heaven to me.
rebelstrike0 almost 6 years ago
Every family has its problems. Even the seemingly perfect Enjos. Although the issues with their kids are slighlty different, for obvious reasons:
Mr. Enjo: “You doctor yet?”
Brian: “No, Dad.”
Mr. Enjo: “Why you no doctor yet?”
Brian: “Because I am only 12.”
Mr. Enjo: “I don’t want to hear excuses! You grounded until you doctor!”