WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a dramatic announcement from the White House Rose Garden on Thursday, Donald J. Trump pronounced the planet Earth a “loser” and vowed to make a better deal with a new planet.
“Earth is a terrible, very bad planet,” he told the White House press corps. “It’s maybe the worst planet in the solar system, and it’s far from the biggest.”
Trump blasted former President Barack Obama for signing deals that committed the United States to remain on the planet Earth indefinitely. “Obama is almost as big a loser as Earth,” Trump said. “If Obama was a planet, guess what planet he’d be? That’s right: Earth.”
When asked which planet he would make a new deal with, Trump offered few specifics, saying only, “The solar system has millions of terrific planets, and they’re all better than Earth, which is a sick, failing loser.”
Trump’s remarks drew a strong response from one of the United States’ NATO allies, Germany’s Angela Merkel. “I strongly support Donald Trump leaving the planet Earth,” she said.
Even though they heavily use coal today, China is becoming the world leader in building solar and wind energy facilities to wean themselves OFF of coal! In the US, solar is not cheper than coal, and provides more jobs, as does wind. The past also can’t be prologue when those sources are gone from an economic or physical basis.
What is REALLY scary is that there have been Republican Politicians in the recent past who are opposed to wind power since, and I AM NOT making this up, they claim that we will run out of wind if we use it to make electricity!!
Stupid fools don’t understand that they have given other nations a weapon to destroy the US economy. When countries start refusing to import US products because the US policies are denounced as supporting the destruction of the environment, and smarter politicos in China and Europe realize the opportunities, look for more unemployment, more debt and the further demise of the US economy.
And oh please, don’t be whining about how the Chinese and Indians will be hypocrites. It won’t matter in the least because, they will be among the ones helping to support the view of the US as a big, dumb, bully getting its comeuppance. That plays very well in a lot of countries and will continue to do so in even more.
We will (rightly for the most part) be portrayed as greedy bastards looking for the short term profit. Just as we have portrayed others. But now Trump has helped make it official policy and the common folks here will pay the price. The rich will manage with off-shore holdings and those reduced taxes, so expect nothing from them.
Of course, you need energy to power that laser. So which is better in the long run, more photovoltaic power or trying to zap CO2? Well, obviously the deniers can’t do the math, nor do they care.
What’s to keep us from developing solar and other alternative energy sources? Nothing. And, since we’re not paying huge sums of money into the Paris Accord, maybe we can invest in our own economy. That’s why the other countries are pissed. Trump just cut off the gravy train.
Kip W almost 7 years ago
You can’t pee in just one part of the pool.
Masterskrain Premium Member almost 7 years ago
But, There’s PROFITS to be made!! P.S. I live in Kentucky, and the coal jobs are NOT coming back…
Radish the wordsmith almost 7 years ago
Republicans dragging the world backwards as it kicks and screams against them. Trumpee leading us back to the coal fired ignorant past.
Mr. Blawt almost 7 years ago
The Conservative Utopia. Is it great yet? Is the plan to make it horrible until it is great?
Masterskrain Premium Member almost 7 years ago
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a dramatic announcement from the White House Rose Garden on Thursday, Donald J. Trump pronounced the planet Earth a “loser” and vowed to make a better deal with a new planet.
“Earth is a terrible, very bad planet,” he told the White House press corps. “It’s maybe the worst planet in the solar system, and it’s far from the biggest.”
Trump blasted former President Barack Obama for signing deals that committed the United States to remain on the planet Earth indefinitely. “Obama is almost as big a loser as Earth,” Trump said. “If Obama was a planet, guess what planet he’d be? That’s right: Earth.”
When asked which planet he would make a new deal with, Trump offered few specifics, saying only, “The solar system has millions of terrific planets, and they’re all better than Earth, which is a sick, failing loser.”
Trump’s remarks drew a strong response from one of the United States’ NATO allies, Germany’s Angela Merkel. “I strongly support Donald Trump leaving the planet Earth,” she said.
Dtroutma almost 7 years ago
Even though they heavily use coal today, China is becoming the world leader in building solar and wind energy facilities to wean themselves OFF of coal! In the US, solar is not cheper than coal, and provides more jobs, as does wind. The past also can’t be prologue when those sources are gone from an economic or physical basis.
Masterskrain Premium Member almost 7 years ago
What is REALLY scary is that there have been Republican Politicians in the recent past who are opposed to wind power since, and I AM NOT making this up, they claim that we will run out of wind if we use it to make electricity!!
Baslim the Beggar Premium Member almost 7 years ago
Stupid fools don’t understand that they have given other nations a weapon to destroy the US economy. When countries start refusing to import US products because the US policies are denounced as supporting the destruction of the environment, and smarter politicos in China and Europe realize the opportunities, look for more unemployment, more debt and the further demise of the US economy.
And oh please, don’t be whining about how the Chinese and Indians will be hypocrites. It won’t matter in the least because, they will be among the ones helping to support the view of the US as a big, dumb, bully getting its comeuppance. That plays very well in a lot of countries and will continue to do so in even more.
We will (rightly for the most part) be portrayed as greedy bastards looking for the short term profit. Just as we have portrayed others. But now Trump has helped make it official policy and the common folks here will pay the price. The rich will manage with off-shore holdings and those reduced taxes, so expect nothing from them.
sandflea almost 7 years ago
Is this a great again Country or what?
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] almost 7 years ago
Imagine if we found a way to separate the carbon from the oxygen and produced solid carbon out of it to bury?
Baslim the Beggar Premium Member almost 7 years ago
@NG: And just where are you going to get the energy to do that? Burn more coal? 8^o (kidding)
Seriously, plants do that with solar. And water. (the latter is the rub and why adding more plants has its limits).
So what you are looking for is a process that uses solar energy and no water. Here’s one.
https://phys.org/news/2014-10-oxygen-molecules-carbon-dioxide.html
Of course, you need energy to power that laser. So which is better in the long run, more photovoltaic power or trying to zap CO2? Well, obviously the deniers can’t do the math, nor do they care.
RAGs almost 7 years ago
It was “interesting” to watch a replay of his Rose Garden rambling with the Pence bobble head in the front row.
diverleo almost 7 years ago
What’s to keep us from developing solar and other alternative energy sources? Nothing. And, since we’re not paying huge sums of money into the Paris Accord, maybe we can invest in our own economy. That’s why the other countries are pissed. Trump just cut off the gravy train.