ladeyfingers, that is exactly what I do (my kids are 6 and 8). Kids never outgrow the need for love and affection; most parents just stop giving it thinking their kids are too old. Kids grow up so fast now a days that I’m content with keeping them little and loved as long as possible!
Never too big for a hug….. We still give them to our adult children, and we still get them from our 80+ year old parents!!
Poor Ellie feels bad though, sometimes the older ones do feel left out. Glad Michael said something!
Poor Michael. I try to do the same with my older one and grab her and chase her sometimes. I don’t have any boys, but I would also think that sometimes parents think that boys want less affection because they’re less emotional (not sure if that’s the right word that I want though…)?
Enjoy you children every day, the years pass so quickly. My oldest will be 49 this week and I can still see him in my mind as a two year old. Life moves too fast. Stop and smell the roses is right on target. Stop and play with your kids.
eatin’up: Do you really think that “boys want less affection because they’re less emotional”? Truly you don’t have boys, and have never been a boy yourself…every kid wants and needs affection and hugs. (Some can’t comfortably receive what they emotionally need, which is doubly sad. But the need is always there.)
Kids being kids, there is a natural sibling rivalry for their parent’s immediate attention and affection. With experience it also turns into a tool for creating parental guilt at perceived neglect of one over the other - thus the classic “Mother always liked you best!” mantra.
Sometimes I wonder at the fact that the human race has not yet killed itself off - love MUST BE POWERFUL INDEED!
Avolunteer, I agree with you. I still hug my 33-year-old son and hugged my parents up until the days they died. Hugs are one of the few gifts that in giving, you always get back.
@SCAATY_423 – you didn’t read my post fully. I said “sometimes parents think…” I didn’t say that I thought that. But if people are faced with a girl and a boy, most would go hug the girl first and maybe hug the boy (depending on the age). It has nothing to do with the fact that I have boys or girls, it’s just human nature. I know that all people want love and attention, so don’t ever imply that from my post. Good try though.
don’t EVER stop hugging your boys (or girls) EVEN IF they say “aw, mom/dad! Not in front of my friends!” because when they need a hug - and don’t ask for it - you won’t know i they need it.
Since they’ve grown and moved out now, I always give my sons hugs when I see them. They don’t seem to miind. (and they’re in early 30s). First a handshake, of course, before the bear hugs - it’s the manly thing to do.
eatin’ up, I def got what you said & meant and was going to defend your post, but see you beat me to the punch ;) sometimes people don’t take the time to fully read and digest others points of view……as for the hugging girls vs boys,I do see it here and there with people I know who have boys that they hold back a bit…but am thankful that in this day and age we have progressed to the point that most realize boys need just as much affection as girls. I have an 11 yr old son, who is very in touch with his feelings,sensitive,empathetic and quite comfortable with affection. His dad and I have hugged,kissed and told him we love him every day of his life :)
The only caveat with giving kids a hug is to watch for nosy neighbors who might call Child Protective Services… and to be sure that the hugs ARE innocent, of course. Too many nutcases out there that like kids the wrong way…
It’s not just your kids and parents that want or need hugs. My uncle was 60 years old, 6’2: and about 270 lbs. I hugged him at a family Christmas party and he grinned from ear to ear while a tear came to his eye - “Do you know how long it’s been since someone really hugged me?” was what he said. Hug the people you love, maybe more gently where there might be arthritic shoulders or degenerative conditions for necks or backs. Everyone needs a hug, sometimes more when they don’t even realize it.
Radio Tom makes an important observation. There are many horror stories of people who have had their lives destroyed by nasty neighbors and even worse creatures from so called “Community” services. These folks are quick to judge and relentless persecuters of any who do not comform to whatever brand of fanaticism they are selling.
one of the games that I used to play with my boy was ‘pillow’. I’d pretend that he was a pillow and I was trying to sleep, but the ‘pillow’ kept moving and I had to keep grabbing him. It was so fun when he was little. It’s a little harder now that he is older and turns away the affection I try and give him, but I still try.
My family wasn’t the hugging type, but I decided that was something I was going to do differently in my home. So, our sons (18 & 21) have grown up hugging, and they love it. We do reserve the kisses for little kids or our spouses, which is fine with our sons. I started hugging my mom every time I saw her after Dad died, and I know she enjoyed it. (She’d remind me if she thought I had forgotten!)
my older girl (now 18) is very tactile, gives and receives hugs gladly, same with the 10 year old boy. The middle one (girl, 14) doesn’t like touching as much as her siblings. Found this out really early as well, I nursed the outer 2 until they were about 14 months old and then it was I who wanted to stop. The middle girl turned her head away when she was 9 months…
jump4joy over 13 years ago
Never. Your children are never too big to hug!
ejcapulet over 13 years ago
You’re never too big for a hug, but you can be too big to play “tickle monster”.
Plods with ...™ over 13 years ago
Aw
mcveinot over 13 years ago
ladeyfingers, that is exactly what I do (my kids are 6 and 8). Kids never outgrow the need for love and affection; most parents just stop giving it thinking their kids are too old. Kids grow up so fast now a days that I’m content with keeping them little and loved as long as possible!
Allison Nunn Premium Member over 13 years ago
Never too big for a hug….. We still give them to our adult children, and we still get them from our 80+ year old parents!! Poor Ellie feels bad though, sometimes the older ones do feel left out. Glad Michael said something!
lightenup Premium Member over 13 years ago
Poor Michael. I try to do the same with my older one and grab her and chase her sometimes. I don’t have any boys, but I would also think that sometimes parents think that boys want less affection because they’re less emotional (not sure if that’s the right word that I want though…)?
AZLILSIS over 13 years ago
Enjoy you children every day, the years pass so quickly. My oldest will be 49 this week and I can still see him in my mind as a two year old. Life moves too fast. Stop and smell the roses is right on target. Stop and play with your kids.
i_am_the_jam over 13 years ago
No, but the Hugging Provider opened a branch office :D
peter0423 over 13 years ago
eatin’up: Do you really think that “boys want less affection because they’re less emotional”? Truly you don’t have boys, and have never been a boy yourself…every kid wants and needs affection and hugs. (Some can’t comfortably receive what they emotionally need, which is doubly sad. But the need is always there.)
ses1066 over 13 years ago
Kids being kids, there is a natural sibling rivalry for their parent’s immediate attention and affection. With experience it also turns into a tool for creating parental guilt at perceived neglect of one over the other - thus the classic “Mother always liked you best!” mantra.
Sometimes I wonder at the fact that the human race has not yet killed itself off - love MUST BE POWERFUL INDEED!
Sugie63 over 13 years ago
Your kids never grow old. There’s always time for a cuddle and tickle monster.
Nelly55 over 13 years ago
I hear ya AZLILSIS, my youngest will be 34 this year….
so I’ll just have to tickle the grandkids more
celeconecca over 13 years ago
never too old for hugs, never!
SillyStuff over 13 years ago
Hugs: always returnable, no calorie treat, overindulgence permitted.
JanLC over 13 years ago
Avolunteer, I agree with you. I still hug my 33-year-old son and hugged my parents up until the days they died. Hugs are one of the few gifts that in giving, you always get back.
memoryinuse over 13 years ago
Relationships 101, also Relationships 580.
lightenup Premium Member over 13 years ago
@SCAATY_423 – you didn’t read my post fully. I said “sometimes parents think…” I didn’t say that I thought that. But if people are faced with a girl and a boy, most would go hug the girl first and maybe hug the boy (depending on the age). It has nothing to do with the fact that I have boys or girls, it’s just human nature. I know that all people want love and attention, so don’t ever imply that from my post. Good try though.
Allan CB Premium Member over 13 years ago
don’t EVER stop hugging your boys (or girls) EVEN IF they say “aw, mom/dad! Not in front of my friends!” because when they need a hug - and don’t ask for it - you won’t know i they need it.
Comic-Nut over 13 years ago
Since they’ve grown and moved out now, I always give my sons hugs when I see them. They don’t seem to miind. (and they’re in early 30s). First a handshake, of course, before the bear hugs - it’s the manly thing to do.
Carol1966 over 13 years ago
eatin’ up, I def got what you said & meant and was going to defend your post, but see you beat me to the punch ;) sometimes people don’t take the time to fully read and digest others points of view……as for the hugging girls vs boys,I do see it here and there with people I know who have boys that they hold back a bit…but am thankful that in this day and age we have progressed to the point that most realize boys need just as much affection as girls. I have an 11 yr old son, who is very in touch with his feelings,sensitive,empathetic and quite comfortable with affection. His dad and I have hugged,kissed and told him we love him every day of his life :)
RadioTom over 13 years ago
The only caveat with giving kids a hug is to watch for nosy neighbors who might call Child Protective Services… and to be sure that the hugs ARE innocent, of course. Too many nutcases out there that like kids the wrong way…
JaniceFromNJ over 13 years ago
It’s not just your kids and parents that want or need hugs. My uncle was 60 years old, 6’2: and about 270 lbs. I hugged him at a family Christmas party and he grinned from ear to ear while a tear came to his eye - “Do you know how long it’s been since someone really hugged me?” was what he said. Hug the people you love, maybe more gently where there might be arthritic shoulders or degenerative conditions for necks or backs. Everyone needs a hug, sometimes more when they don’t even realize it.
ransomdstone over 13 years ago
Radio Tom makes an important observation. There are many horror stories of people who have had their lives destroyed by nasty neighbors and even worse creatures from so called “Community” services. These folks are quick to judge and relentless persecuters of any who do not comform to whatever brand of fanaticism they are selling.
Gretchen's Mom over 13 years ago
I hug and kiss my 8-year-old every single day … whether she wants me to or not!
;-)
newworldmozart over 13 years ago
one of the games that I used to play with my boy was ‘pillow’. I’d pretend that he was a pillow and I was trying to sleep, but the ‘pillow’ kept moving and I had to keep grabbing him. It was so fun when he was little. It’s a little harder now that he is older and turns away the affection I try and give him, but I still try.
Smiley Rmom over 13 years ago
My family wasn’t the hugging type, but I decided that was something I was going to do differently in my home. So, our sons (18 & 21) have grown up hugging, and they love it. We do reserve the kisses for little kids or our spouses, which is fine with our sons. I started hugging my mom every time I saw her after Dad died, and I know she enjoyed it. (She’d remind me if she thought I had forgotten!)
hildigunnurr Premium Member over 13 years ago
my older girl (now 18) is very tactile, gives and receives hugs gladly, same with the 10 year old boy. The middle one (girl, 14) doesn’t like touching as much as her siblings. Found this out really early as well, I nursed the outer 2 until they were about 14 months old and then it was I who wanted to stop. The middle girl turned her head away when she was 9 months…
feefers_ about 2 months ago
Elly you need to spend time just with Michael