Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 06, 2015

Transcript:

richard's poor almanac horoscope by richard thompson capricorn your tin can habit is get-ting way out of hand. aquarius check the kitchen drawer. your coupons have expired. pisces today they will remove your little castle. tomorrow, who knows? aries merge steve case looks far too much like william kennedy smith for your liking. taurus you burn oil and pull to the left. gemini you are confident your court appearance will vindicate you & allow you to put these ab-surd allegations behind you. cancer shellfish is very high in cholesterol. beware. leo time to thin the herd. virgo you're 39. lose the cats & the sci-fi fandom & get a date. libra you amass enough gravity to attract small satellites. scorpio your plans for global conquest derail when your toadies strike, demanding flashier jumpsuits. saguttarius of course of course the "mr. ed" theme song sticks in your ehad all day, starting right now.