PreTeena by Allison Barrows for August 12, 2020

Teena’s mom is cool. Did I say that before? Then let me say it again. Teena’s mom is cool.

Tess, deploying the heavy duty guilt forces, talking to Grandma about it in front Teena!

Oh, Tess, I see what you did there…

Years ago I was hired as an administrative assistant for a company where one of the members was also a professional color consultant. Soon after I started, she told me that, although she was booked solid, she would get to me to help me. A couple of weeks later, she told me to never mind: in the time I was in there, she said that I already seemed to have a good grasp on my color palette.

It took my mother years to figure out that no matter how many brown or mustard yellow dresses she bought, I would NOT wear them, and they would eventually disappear.

Don’t worry, Teena. The salesperson will probably direct you to the boys’ department. Remember your bra shopping experience?

don’t hassle mom with your sighs, Teena ..

When I was in junior and senior high [grades 7 to 12] I had to wear dresses or skirts to school every day no matter what the weather or how much I hated it. Now that school is many years in the past, I do not even own a dress of any kind and I don’t imagine I ever will again. The last dress I ever wore was my wedding dress.

I used to like dresses and skirts. I still do, in some ways, but they just don’t go with tennis shoes.

Lordt. Mom needs to leave the girl alone and buy herself an American Girl doll. Win-Win.

For summer, I’d say shorts, shirts, sandals and perhaps some hasbeens or clogs. Perfect bare footwear. We can have tunics, blouses and sweaters for autumn and winter. Don’t for get the leggings and tights.