Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for September 19, 2014

He’s millimpeded.

Potayto. Potahto.

Maybe he’s a nonagintasexpede.

These boots are made for walking, and that’s just what they’ll do.One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.

You are not going anywhere with those kind mating moves.

He’s a janitor and will sweep you off your feet

And 52 right feet…

Argh, this be talkin’ like a pirate day, ye scallywaggin’ sea barnacles, so speaking of peg legs, does a centipede with a wooden leg sound like “99 – thump, 99 – thump?”

Centimpeded.