FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for August 21, 2014

PURPLE DEATH

An unusual “Rough-as-Guts” Wine that has the distinctive bouquet of horse-s**t and old tram tickets. It is best drunk with the teeth clenched to prevent the ingestion of any foreign bodies. Connoisseurs will savour the slight tannin taste of old tea leaves and burnt cat fur. Possessors of a cultivated palate will admire the initial assault on the taste buds which comes from the careful and loving blending of animal manure and perished jockstraps strained through an old miners sock. The maturing in small pigs bladders gives it a very definite nose…

I’m pretty sure he’ll be saying something like “Aargh!” when he drinks it…. and then when he’s done drinking it, he’ll be saying “Why is the rum gone?”

more like acck ack ack argg

Cheap wines. What memories come to mind.Night TrainThunderbirdBoone’s FarmRippleAnd now Jolly Roger’s Skull and Crossbones!

I used to absolutely love Ripple! It was a pear based wine while most of the others were grape and apple based.

I think he’s gonna say more like. AAAAAck!

Probably very much like pirate grog.

Or be saying something like BARF when he drinks it.

When I was in college, we made “apple jack”. Of course, when you are 19-20, and the drinking age was 21, almost anything with alcohol was a worthy item. We considered it a real treat when we actually got our hands on a bottle of “Ripple” or “Boones Farm”!.Now that I have a bit more scratch, I am a bit more fussy regarding what I drink…

Maybe he can sell it as an antiseptic:

Fox Wine! It’ll kill ANYTHING!

I’m thinking more along the lines of “Gah!” THUD!!!