Henry Payne for May 21, 2014

Teens are immortal. They only stop being immortal when they get “old”… if they live that long.

It was inevitable that the airlines would become so ridiculous. Adding all that tax revenue to every ticket to support TSA was the start of more-outrageous fares. Also websites designed to show the cheapest prices, and the people willing to look at them, closed the deal.

Face it: if you’re an airline exec looking to fill your seats, and people choose another airline because the flight is $3 cheaper, you can make it $5 cheaper. And charge for food. You can make it $10 cheaper. And charge for baggage. And so it goes.

Show me an airline that will give me a seat that doesn’t require me to chew on my knees the entire flight, that serves food without asking me to pay for it, that includes carrying my baggage, so that other people won’t bring 50-pound “carry-ons”, and I’ll gladly pay more for the privilege. I know better than to hold my breath.

Actually, Mr. Payne is not paying attention. The auto industry did this first. “Here’s our MSRP. Pretty low, right? Oh, you want a steering wheel? Tires? You can order our ‘performance package’ which includes them AND brake lights. We have ‘premium visibility packages’ that include windshields and side window glass.”

No argument. Now, how many of those “nanny regs” were put into place because of 9/11/01? There was a lot of overcompensation that resulted from that day, and nanny regs are just part of the list. But don’t you feel safer now?

^Yep, all those add-ons, like windshield wipers that work, brakes, and a throttle! I do not WANT “self parking”, or “collision avoidance braking” that takes control away from the driver!! Or lets those who never learn to drive get behind the wheel and “fake it”!!

And it will always arrive 30 minutes late at your destination and lose your luggage in the process…

When I was 16, dad had a ‘65 Mercury Park Lane. It had an acre of hood out front, an acre of trunk out back, and a 5’10’’ kid could lay down flat on the front or back seat and not hit head or feet on the doors. I had put seven on my friends and I, for a total of 8 teenage boys, in that thing, comfortably. It had a great radio with front and rear speaker controls and bass and treble adjustment. It was cream white with red leather seats. Dang, I miss that car.

Don’t get too attached to that big car. It’s going to be re-called in 2025!

On the upside, it will do 550 mph…But does use a lot of extra-super-hitest.

“Too taxed to come up with an intelligent statement”: you do realize that in a collision, as the Insurance industry association staged proved that colliding a ’60’s era car into a ""new" car resulted in all occupants of the ’60’s era American barge killed, and no serious injuries in the passengers in the modern car. Believe they were both Chevys.