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Richard's Poor Almanac

By Richard Thompson
4,266
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Oct 21, 2016
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your spring weeding guide

woman: die die
non-euclidean creeper. hard to remove. ignores the geometry of the space-time continuum common to most yards.

man: die die
false tea rose. looks & smells exactly like the lovely tea rose. but it's a weed! soon your yard will be covered in it! root it out! tear it up! kill it!

granny: die die
plant: sproing
bamzu. combines the robust unstoppability of kudzu with the hearty imoortality of bamboo. it also attracts zebra mussels. sell your house and get a condo.

dude: whoopsie. 
dilatory bulbvine. also known as your leftover christmas lights. take them down already, it's easter for crying out loud.
Oct 25, 2016
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