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Apr 18, 2013
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teddy roosevelt built a treehouse in a cherry tree on the tidal basin that was used as a presidential retreat up through the nixon years.
nixon: uh-oh. enemies.
no girls or jews

the official peak blossom date is secretly controlled by exec-utives of the rand corporation, haliburton and nbc-4 weather-man bob ryan.
exec 1: may 20th.
bob: july 6th.
exec 2: i say we skip it entirely this year.

on that day, kitsch-starved tourists arrive by the billions, hoping for just a glimpse of the pale, fragile blossoms.
oop: there's one!
driver 1: sakura
driver 2: shut up!

here's a tip for first-time visitors: cherry blossoms make a tasty & nutritious cole slaw! so when you go down to the tidal basin, bring along the mayonnaise!
wife: mmmm-yummy! hey - where'd you get the pancakes?
Apr 25, 2013
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