Kirk: Who threw the first punch, Scotty?
Scotty: I did, Captain.
Kirk: YOU DID, Mr. Scott? … What caused it Scotty?
Scotty: they insulted us, sir.
Kirk: Must have been some insult.
Scotty: Aye, it was.
Kirk: You threw the first punch…
Scotty: Aye. Chekov wanted to, but I held him back.
Kirk: Why did Chekov want to start a fight?
Scotty: The Klingons called you… is this off the record?
Kirk: NO, this is not off the record.
Scotty: The Klingons called you a tin-plated, overbearing, swaggering dictator with delusions of godhood.
Kirk: Was that all?
Scotty: No, Sir. They also compared you with a Denebian Slime Devil.
Kirk: I see.
Scotty: And then they said that you were—
Kirk: —I get the picture, Scotty.
Scotty: Yes, Sir.
Kirk: And after they said all this, that’s when you hit the Klingon.
Scotty: No, Sir.
Scotty: No, ah didn’t. You told us to avoid trouble.
Kirk: Oh, yes.
Scotty: I didn’t see it as worth fighting about. After all, we’re big enough to take a few insults. Aren’t we?
Kirk: What was it they said that started the fight?
Scotty: They called the Enterprise a garbage scow… Sir.
Kirk: I see. And that’s when you hit the Klingon?
Scotty: Yes, sir.
Kirk:You hit the Klingons because they insulted the Enterprise. Not because they…
Scotty: Well, sir: this was a matter of pride.
Kirk: All right, Scotty, dismissed. Oh, Scotty, you’re restricted to quarters.
Scotty: Yes, Sir… Thank you, Sir. That will give me a chance to catch up on my technical journals!