Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 26, 2012
July 25, 2012
July 27, 2012
Transcript:
Pig: Hey, Rat. Whatcha getting for breakfast? Rat: I'm thinking about ordering a bunch of bacteria that's been thrown into milk and allowed to ferment. Goat: It's called yogurt. Rat: I like to be precise.
Rat sometimes amazes me! I like yogurt, whether mass-brand USA-made or Greek (as in made, bought, and consumed in Greece, when I visited there). Plain, with honey!
From the Matthau/Lemmon version of “The Odd Couple” (1968):“I’ve got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches.”“What are the green ones?”“Either very new cheese or very old meat.”Thank you, Neil Simon.
Rat’s still going to eat the stuff. He just wants proper labeling. Just like pork barbecue should be called charred dead pig with sweet and sour goop poured on it.
When my son was little, one day at the dinner table he said “I’ve got to go poop.” My wife said, “Please don’t be so precise.”So ever since then, he announces “I’m going to be precise” in that situation.Now Rat is saying it.
It was in 3rd grade when the rumors started as to what Jello was made out of. In 4th grade, the rumors were confirmed. Haven’t touched Jello since (about 50 years).
I believe “yogurt” is derived from an old Romanian word that means “Something that used to be milk.”÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷I tried eating Yoplait yogurt, but no matter which flavor I tried it was nasty. Maybe yogurt should come in capsules, so you can get all the benefits without having to taste it.
Spoiled is the word you want. Like a certain class of people, it spoils, fills with gas, floats to the top, and clots together…and now we’re faced with finding a new use for them. ‘It’.
Personally I favor using them as targets for guillotine practice.And then…eat the rich. Ingest whatever virtues they have, enjoy their sweet, broiled fat and tender, unworked flesh…
First thought: Cheeses, beer, wine, bread soy sauce: all similar. OK, beer, wine and bread use yeasts, not bacteria, but that’s a minor point. And bread, being baked, kills the yeast off. Not sure about soy sauce, but it’s fermented.
Second: there are far more bacteria cells in any person (except maybe one yet to be born) than human cells. One problem with some antibiotics is that they can kill off the good cultures, or distort the mix, and then the bad bacteria and other animalcules take over and wreak havoc.
Oh, and Third: precision can be amusing. I recall C.S.Lewis’s restating civilization’s oratorical claim into simpler, more precise language in Out of the Silent Planet—they didn’t sound so nice then.
Rakostump almost 12 years ago
hahaha…i HATE yogurt…no idea why, but I just do…:D
Phatts almost 12 years ago
. . . sometimes you don’t wanna know how they make it . . .
seyleigh almost 12 years ago
Bacteria is yummy!
Varnes almost 12 years ago
Wow, Rat makes it really sound cool!
naturally_easy almost 12 years ago
It sounds so much better to refer to them as “active yogurt cultures.”
einarbt7 almost 12 years ago
Goat has got a problem.
scpandich almost 12 years ago
LOL
That’s like that one exchange from Family Guy:
Lois: Ewww, What’s that smell?Brian: It’s either bad meat or good cheese…
Sisyphos almost 12 years ago
Rat sometimes amazes me! I like yogurt, whether mass-brand USA-made or Greek (as in made, bought, and consumed in Greece, when I visited there). Plain, with honey!
naturally_easy almost 12 years ago
Anyone care for some curds and whey?
bergamot almost 12 years ago
I always refer to it as “rancid milk”. The only place I can stomache yogurt is in Indian cooking.
knight1192a almost 12 years ago
Whoa, this is scary. Rat actually says something of higher intelligence thn he normally shows. It’s Goat level intelligence.
pschearer Premium Member almost 12 years ago
So how is beer all that different?
flyertom almost 12 years ago
From the Matthau/Lemmon version of “The Odd Couple” (1968):“I’ve got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches.”“What are the green ones?”“Either very new cheese or very old meat.”Thank you, Neil Simon.
eddie6192 almost 12 years ago
I too was going to have a yogurt for breakfast. I’ve since opted for Cheerios and banana.
jmartin1955 almost 12 years ago
So what the heck is in activia?
meowgirl almost 12 years ago
um….how about some COTTAGE CHEESE???!!!!!
peabodyboy almost 12 years ago
Anything you eat or drink can be a problem. As W. C. Fields supposedly said of water, “I don’t drink that stuff. Fish pee in it.”
The Boston Banana almost 12 years ago
haha
The Boston Banana almost 12 years ago
and sice it has bacteria in it its alive
The Boston Banana almost 12 years ago
*since
peabodyboy almost 12 years ago
Rat’s still going to eat the stuff. He just wants proper labeling. Just like pork barbecue should be called charred dead pig with sweet and sour goop poured on it.
finale almost 12 years ago
Bee barf?
Piksea Premium Member almost 12 years ago
Yeesh! I read this right after I finished eating my daily yogurt breakfast.
rw1h almost 12 years ago
Yogurt is for people who like sausage and respect the law. You don’t want to watch either one being made………
pshapley Premium Member almost 12 years ago
When my son was little, one day at the dinner table he said “I’ve got to go poop.” My wife said, “Please don’t be so precise.”So ever since then, he announces “I’m going to be precise” in that situation.Now Rat is saying it.
Casey Southards almost 12 years ago
I love Rat.
WaitingMan almost 12 years ago
It was in 3rd grade when the rumors started as to what Jello was made out of. In 4th grade, the rumors were confirmed. Haven’t touched Jello since (about 50 years).
Sherlock Watson almost 12 years ago
I believe “yogurt” is derived from an old Romanian word that means “Something that used to be milk.”÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷I tried eating Yoplait yogurt, but no matter which flavor I tried it was nasty. Maybe yogurt should come in capsules, so you can get all the benefits without having to taste it.
tigre1 almost 12 years ago
Spoiled is the word you want. Like a certain class of people, it spoils, fills with gas, floats to the top, and clots together…and now we’re faced with finding a new use for them. ‘It’.
Personally I favor using them as targets for guillotine practice.And then…eat the rich. Ingest whatever virtues they have, enjoy their sweet, broiled fat and tender, unworked flesh…
And start over…
bmonk almost 12 years ago
First thought: Cheeses, beer, wine, bread soy sauce: all similar. OK, beer, wine and bread use yeasts, not bacteria, but that’s a minor point. And bread, being baked, kills the yeast off. Not sure about soy sauce, but it’s fermented.
Second: there are far more bacteria cells in any person (except maybe one yet to be born) than human cells. One problem with some antibiotics is that they can kill off the good cultures, or distort the mix, and then the bad bacteria and other animalcules take over and wreak havoc.
bmonk almost 12 years ago
Oh, and Third: precision can be amusing. I recall C.S.Lewis’s restating civilization’s oratorical claim into simpler, more precise language in Out of the Silent Planet—they didn’t sound so nice then.
whiteaj almost 12 years ago
He would love bee vomit then.
Popeyesforearm almost 12 years ago
fried chicken embryos and cooked pig flesh please.
Fan o’ Lio. almost 12 years ago
Nobody likes the taste of yogurt – that’s why they have to flavor it.
dbmeyer99 almost 12 years ago
A whole discussion on hating yogurt, reading some of these comments makes my head hurt. Just enjoy the comics, don’t over analyze each one…
WaitingMan almost 12 years ago
I like yogurt. It’s food made from horse’s hooves that I tend to avoid.
corzak almost 12 years ago
Actually, something like 90% of the cells in “our” bodies are not “us”, but trillions of symbiotic microorganisms. We’re colonial entities.
BillWa almost 12 years ago
ReRead Rat’s description.
K M almost 12 years ago
Heck, my wife likes fungal contaminants as foodstuffs. I can’t stand ’em.
Chepi89 almost 12 years ago
I love rotten milk!