Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for January 26, 2024

More entertaining than the text books.

I wonder why Calvin doesn’t try at school. If he has the capability to memorize historical events and other things, then he should have the ability to try at school. But his imagination is too big to match up with his learning abilities for him to be successful. How sad. Why do they teach facts if all students do is just memorize them?Also where is Plymouth Rock?

Ugh! More history?! I keep hearing about bad stuff happening a long time ago and we’re supposed to be like therapists who have to listen to past problems. Sorry. I’ve heard enough in my lifetime and have little sympathy.

I don’t doubt it! LOL

It’s really not fair of Watterson to take as much time as he needs to come up with a quip that the rest of us have to do in real time.

But he sure does it well!

The real Plymouth Rock has eroded so much that it’s just about the size of a pebble!

Dang, he’s doing the Karnak the Magnificent schtick all wrong!

BTW, may a crazed diamond cutter mount your sister.

I don’t blame them…….

And they accuse Calvin of not having any ambitions.

What’s under Plymoth Rock is more intersting a Fury?, Duster?

For Cal, tests are just his chosen way to get attention. Negative is just as good a positive and easier to earn.

As I have said before, I liked to loan my Calvin and Hobbes book collections to my two nephews. My oldest nephew – who celebrated his forty-fifth birthday exactly two weeks ago today – named this one as a particular favourite and so did my Dad.

I’m sure they really get a kick out of your answers, Calvin.

World history according to high school and college students:

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies, and they all wrote in hydraulics. The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube.

The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn’t have any history. They invented three kinds of columns – Corinthian, Ironic, and Dorc – and built the Apocalypse.

In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the Java. The government of Athens was democratic because people took the law into their own hands.

Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. The Ides of March murdered Caesar because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped “Tee hee, Brutus”.

In the Middle Ages, the Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense. In the Renaissance, Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper.

Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also freed the slaves by signing the emasculation proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booths career.

There is a town called Plymouth, that is in Rock County, Wisconsin.

The location of Plymouth Rock is easy: Latitude: 41.9584 Longitude: -70.6673.

Führer or Fueher if you don’t have umlauts.

At 72, I remember the names Balboa, De Soto, Cortez and Pizaro, but I don’t remember who they murdered, conquered, or where they explored.

Plymouth Rock was taken by the Nazis and hidden along with the Amber Room.

They have art galleries, too, for kids who draw pictures on their test papers. Tru Dat. Told to The Count by a friend.

It’s a shame that the Chrysler Corporation never produced a model called the Plymouth Rock.

Calvin, is only trying to cover up the fact that he has absolutely no idea where ‘Plymouth Rock’ is let alone what its significance is in history !! ! ! !

And many of Calvin’s teachers left the profession and went on to become sketch writers for SNL.

A: Plymouth.

Calvin sounds like he’s giving a press briefing.

…..but, if I were to hazard a guess, you may not go wrong by checking in New England………

The folks in Human Resources are all a-tremble waiting to read your job applications.

I think Calvin, and kids like Calvin, learn more when fighting against the school system than when cooperating with it. Opposition and even hatred of school keep them mentally active and engaged, allowing them to learn about things they are truly interested in.

You are not M, Calvin.

When did the pilgrims land in Plymouth?

Just about lunch time.

I wish I was this smart when I was his age.

LOL

Calvin the creative writer…

In tutoring a grandson for the four tests for the GED, I have been impressed how much better they are in real life than the school equivalents I experienced. The language and mathematics tests are appropriately titled “Reasoning through Language Arts” and “Reasoning through Mathematics.” The other two, Social Studies (includes government) and Science are better focused than the classes I had in school.

The next question is, “What color is George Washington’s white horse?”

That was my goal in high school and college. Amuse an “A” out of them!

Calvin may not be sure about Plymouth Rock, however in his head there are rocks!

I realized why facts need to be taught when Trump devotees were asked what caused the Civil War and the response was a blank stare. Nikki Haley didn’t do much better. Coming to a logical conclusion about anything without the facts you should have learned in school is like trying to bake a cake with no ingredients.

This is what happens when a gifted child is not challenged at his level. He has an old biddy of a teacher who teaches rote and boring facts when she could be pushing him to reach his potential by giving him lessons that teach the facts in creative ways. How about having him illustrate a scene from that era? If he adds Spaceman Spiff, so what as long as the other elements, including dates, are included.

Yeah… Calvin’s imaginative tests and papers are probably the best the faculty have ever seen. He has the makings of a great fantasy novelist.

Whatever gave you that impression, Calvin??

I’ve been to Plymouth Rock. You get there and there is a sign and you find like a hole in the ground and look down and there’s this insignificant looking rock. But, it’s Plymouth Rock!

At least he’s giving them great entertainment.

Both the teachers and us!

Heh, wouldn’t surprise me if Calvin actually knows the answer but is just messing with Miss Wormwood there.

Calvin is lucky they don’t come right into the classroom to point and laugh. :)

Absolutely true, that and a whole lot more, been there…

On the advice of counsel…

On the ground.

That is good reading for the teacher’s lounge, since they are fresh out of “knock, knock” jokes

Are they wearing tin foil hats when they are reading them?

In these days they would be popular on Instagram or X.

Chris Wray

That line is fun to use with telemarketers too.

Calvin clearly won’t pass the Grant’s tomb test.

And maybe the district psychiatrist’s office.

Not only the teachers lounge but its impact is also felt across the globe.