Pluggers by Rick McKee for November 09, 2023

Must be on the phone with DAMARK.

Huh, an honest voice response.

Or you can press 1 to leave a message for one of our dedicated customer services representatives and we’ll return your call as soon as possible. So you do. This provides the customer disservice people with something to listen to on their breaks and lunch while they laugh till tears roll down their cheeks.

Then they’ll place your phone number on a list to NEVER be answered by a live person, and will play a recording of many other information options that don’t apply to you. This recording volume will fade in and out while they talk like an auctioneer on meth. The final thing you’ll hear is thank you for choosing to give us your business. You are a valued customer.

My mother was in her late seventies when she had this conversation with a sales clerk: “Even though its month away, this will make someone a perfect Christmas present.” And the clerk replied, “Are you sure you’ll still be alive at Christmas?”

Mr AI … May I please speak to a human … One from my home country . Thank – You …

“Please use the keypad to enter your phone number and your age, so we know how many years we can wait to call you back and not solve whatever problem you only think you may be having”.

Or at least feels that way.

A few weeks ago, I was on hold so long that my phone’s battery drained — it may have beeped a warning, but I wasn’t holding it to my ear because the wait-music was so irritating. I had to take it to the shop because it wouldn’t charge up on my slow charger. The phone call was to the online pharmacy that my veterinarian had sent my cat’s prescription to because they had messed up the refill order. When I got my phone back [on Tuesday, because it drained on Friday and the shop was closed on the weekend], I called my vet and told them I wanted to change to one of the local pharmacies because I had no confidence in a pharmacy which couldn’t/wouldn’t answer questions.

Spent 4 hours yesterday at the NJ DMV getting a “Real ID”, and WE HAD AN APPOINTMENT!!!

I have found that sometimes, punching the ‘0’ key repeatedly will get you right to a person. My wait time is 5 minutes as my time, though I am retired, is valuable. I will call back a a lesser busy time. When dealing with government agencies, I try to use email.

That makes you an angry plugger.

when calling any federal office

That’s like trying to go through this comics site!!!!

your expected wait time is 30 mins or until you are nolonger valued.

Yeah… you wait forever and then the agent barely speaks English !

I wish more companies would offer the option to enter my phone number for a call back. I know of only two that offer that: Amazon help and SSA.

I had the same response this morning to cancel a Dr appointment ….. It said to leave a message …… if someone doesn’t get back to you within 3 days …… call back ……. well considering that it is Thursday and my appointment is for Monday ……. I guess if I don’t show up they will figure it out …… :)

Is that in “Chicken Years”?

Seems that way at times…..

There is a traffic light near us with such a long wait for the left-turn signal that we always go past it and turn around at a shop about a half mile away. About once or twice a year I manage to catch the green arrow. Otherwise, you have to wait two weeks for the next time.

I have come up with several tricks I use.

If I get a “which of these” or are offered other choices I use the “fefferfer” method. This is where I say same instead of pushing a button. Generally the system is upset that it can’t understand me and I get a live person. (No, really – it works!)

I don’t make phone calls other than emergencies or to people I know on Mondays. (Also do not go to the PO to do things with employees on same.) Why? There are 3 days of people’s problems to be dealt on Mondays – problems from Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

If the place you are trying to reach is located in a different time zone use that for your advantage.

Example – I got a notice from IRS on a Monday. Husband was having a stroke so I could not wait for Tuesday. I was calling a special line there, but still every time I called I was told that the lines were full and I would have to call back. I convinced to let me use my system.

I called at 7pm. At that point about half of the IRS offices across the county are closed – but then again – many fewer people are calling as it is after 5 pm where they are. I still had to wait an hour for someone – but at least I got into the online line to wait for someone.

In another example of same I had a problem with my tax prep registration with them and had to call a special number. I called again at 7 pm and was # 10 in line to be answered.