Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 17, 2023

… as opposed to reading your phone, which is neither fine nor an art.

Client will say “Huh”

dude

https://acidcow.com/pics/69922-stupid-criminals-that-confessed-their-crimes-on.html

It may help even more (at least to getting his attention) to let him know that he will be losing (the use of) his cell phone.

And, indeed, at some periods in the past, silence was tantamount to acceptance.

I remember when Kato Kaelin was on the witness stand. The judge or someone said, “Our system does not accept an input of ‘yeah’.” After that he had to awkwardly enunciate “yes”.

Defendant: “Bruh, chill! It’s just the latest TikTok challenge to say ‘whatever’ in court.”

Judge: “Where you’re going, your next challenge will be contemplating how to behave in a courtroom thirty days from now. Court adjourned!”

Well, they do tell me that English is a ‘growing’ language. I also remember that (I think Churchill) commented that America and Britain were two countries separated by a common language. (I may have slightly mis-quoted, so please put me straight – if necessary).

“Like, ‘Gort,Klaatu barada nikto,’ Your Dudess!” Zaaaap!!

As if he would even pronounce the word in its entirety. I’m guessing a “whatev” or “whatevs” is more likely.

Also, is this the smallest courtroom ever? Those defense and prosecution desks are practically attached to the bench.

If the police are sharp, they might find the dummy has posted a video of his crime. A number of mental midgets have been caught that way in recent decades.

Even though anything is possible in comics, and it completes the image of a self-absorbed doofus, one wonders about the phone at the defense table.

And with that, the judge has assured a mistrial.

You’ll get a shorter sentence that way, but you will be detached from your phone.

First time out of the basement?

In the US, those states in which cameras are not permitted in the courtroom, also means any personal device with a camera incorporated in it is also prohibited. He would not even be let in with that thing.

This assumes that the client will pay any more attention to his lawyer than he does to the judge — a dubious proposition.

Was that said at someone’s arraignment?

I hated it when my students would respond with “whatever” – almost worse than profanity.

Most annoying response ever, especially to a serious question. Makes my palm itch!

Whatevs.

If someone is charged as a notorious liar will „not guilty“ taken as guilty?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqqsxfEDXu4