Herman by Jim Unger for January 03, 2018

He’s only been waiting five minutes, the problem is that he had beans for lunch.

Yeah. This, originally, was, a loaf of bread.

Another example of wilted expectations !

Well I was an athletic, twenty-five year old with a full head of hair, back when I asked you out

…well…the plastic flowers behind my back did have a life time warranty

Since you asked, I’m a little wilted!

Send me dead flowers, and I won’t forget to put roses on your grave"

Gotta break him in right.

“Well, when I got here I had a 32-inch waist…”