Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for July 27, 2017

Off with his head! And off with the heads of anyone sitting at the round table who doesn’t move it PDQ!

I was helping with an event for which a local group wanted to reserve a room with a round table.

So of course, we tried Round Table Pizza….

Three different locations….

They all had private rooms that could be reserved for groups, for which they charged no fee,

only the promise of a very fair minimum purchase….

But not one of them even had a round table.

We’re Knights of the Round Table. We dance whene’er we’re able. We do routines and chorus scenes, With footwork impeccable. We dine well here in Camelot. We eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

We’re Knights of the Round Table. Our shows are formidable, But many times we’re given rhymes That are quite unsingable. We’re opera mad in Camelot. We sing from the diaphragm a lot.

In war we’re tough and able, Quite indefatigable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable. It’s a busy life in Camelot.

I have to push the pram a lot.(Obligatory)

“Knights of the Corner Booth” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

Morte d’Arthur (of embarassment)

Have Merlin remove them

Sir Cull of Shapes won’t be happy about that.

Brave Sir Arthur bravely ran away.

They need to re-quest for it.

You can get by the maître-d’ under Sir Ten circumstances.

Ooohh, no no no… first rule of a posh restaurant – you always suck up to customers of this excaliber.

How about an oval table.

In short there’s simply not,

A more congenial spot,

For happily ever aftering

Than here at Eat A lot.

Where the Knights of Ni go to get their grubbery.

Might it be a French restaurant?

“My good man, whereupon I trash thee on thy Yelp page, no customer shall again dine at an establishment of such ex-caliber.”