The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for November 18, 2016
November 17, 2016
November 19, 2016
Transcript:
Caption: Bill was, without question, the alpha mail. Letter with pink stamp: Oh, William, you're so s. a. s. e. Letter facing away: I got the same stamp as you! Cool, huh? Letter with red stamp: William, can I be delivered to your house?
Superfrog over 7 years ago
He’s pushing the envelope.
b.m.razzilla over 7 years ago
Send this gag to the dead letter office…
Bilan over 7 years ago
He told those direct mail junkies where to go.
Radish the wordsmith over 7 years ago
They all want to see his junk mail.
joe piglet Premium Member over 7 years ago
Bill can lick any envelope in the box.
MtheMomma over 7 years ago
Hey people. Calm down. Just letter be!
J Short over 7 years ago
StratmanRon over 7 years ago
B.M.O.C. with a zip+4…
MeGoNow Premium Member over 7 years ago
I know this guy. He may appear hand-addressed and personal, but inside, he’s just junk mail.
chromosome Premium Member over 7 years ago
From the size of him, he’s probably my mortgage Bill.
euvnrutas over 7 years ago
He hates to be so forward but his postage is due.
Packratjohn Premium Member over 7 years ago
Will you still respect me in the morning?“Return to Sender”
MissScarlet Premium Member over 7 years ago
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationary. (credit LA Times crossword puzzle).
hippogriff over 7 years ago
TheWildSow
The envelope copy was written going to Gettysburg, not going to Washington. He also wrote three other copies on regular paper, one of which is preserved in the Lincoln Bedroom in the White House.
Andrew Sleeth over 7 years ago
… and all the other mails were just third-class citizens.
Andrew Sleeth over 7 years ago
And like most alpha mails, Bill could only throw around his bulk when he wasn’t properly addressed. Because as any intelligent, thrifty mail knows, email is far superior.
Daeder over 7 years ago
But as an adult he would find out just how much everyone hates Bills in the mail…