Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 30, 2016

Transcript:

the white house easter egg roll a mostly partly true history. probably. the first easter eff roll was held on the capitol grounds by dolly madison, wife of president james madison, in the early 1800's. whiz dolly: hey! hey! throwing is not rolling! kid: may we have some snack cakes now? by 1877, congressmen, fed up with screaming kids, ruined lawns & hard-boiled egg debris, ordered capitol police to bar egg-rollers from the grounds. this caused a fuss. cop: scram man 1: just look at this place! man 2: there oughta be a law kids: aw some say that an angry mother marched her kids down pennsylvania avenue & knocked on the white house door to demand that president rutherford b. hayes allow the tiiny revelers onto the white house lawn. others say hayed was passing by the capitol, saw all the crying tots & invited them to the white house. rutherford b. hayes either way, the first official white house easter egg roll was held in 1878, hosted by president hayes. ever since, the name "rutherford b. hayes" has been synonymous with "fun" for all of america's children! mostly. whiz kid 2: hurrah for rutherford b. hayes! kid 3: hurrah! hurrah!