Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 22, 2016

Transcript:

Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson Cherry Blossom FAQs Planning a trip to the tidal basin? Ha! Good luck! Do they smell? Ooh, wouldn't they be lovely on a postcard or a collectible plate or a tea towel or a Pee yoo! No, but cherry blossoms to emit an odorless gas that stupefy is the brain's kitsch rejection center. Also there is usually a coupla dead fish in the tidal basin. I'm already sick of cherry blossoms! Can I avoid them? No! During peak Blossom time the population density around the tidal basin acts as a black hole, drawing all humanity on the eastern seaboard to it. Sorry! Can I take photos of the blossoms? No pictures. Yagh! No! The Park Service has instituted a policy of pushing photographers into the tidal basin with a long stick. My kid whines unless we rent a paddleboat. What can I do? Whine. Click. No pictures. Tell him about Gorgo, the prehistoric snakehead who, freed from a glacier by global warming, now lurks in the tidal basin & E twenty kids, even on dry land.