Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 10, 2015

So is this what is meant by the phrase ‘Book of Life’ during High Holy days?

Couldn’t we start with “Oh, For Pete’s sake”?

“How was I to know there was an actual witness?”

To be in heaven or not to be in heaven, that is the question..Bob was very nervous. He had a nagging feeling that the fate of his future was in Limbo.

That’s his Black Rock.

Mr. Carlson?

Sadly most fat guys in suits have already worked out there is no heaven or hell……..

Jehovah’s a witness?

OMG!!!

There no “worse days” when you’re finally in Heaven!

My Irish mother used to say: " May God help you ! Nobody else will. "

I wonder what kind of computer God uses and how big is that hard drive?

nosirrum, the Church said Limbo didn’t exist anymore..20 years ago……I often wonder what happened to the souls that were in Limbo…Where did they go when they shut down Limbo? Heaven? Hell? I don’t know, but doesn’t that leave them in…. what?……Limbo?

Glasses?

What’s with all of this “perfect sight” and “sees everything” stuff if He wears glasses? Who’s His optician?

As soon as I hear “I swear to God, X” I know that X is a lie.

If there is a heaven and I get there I have no doubt that the big wazoo will shake my hand, congratulate me and say that he admired my disbelief of his existence and that I was one of the relatively few that actually used the brains he gave to people to figure out that we should only believe in things for which there was evidence. Then he’ll invite me in for pizza, beer, and intelligent conversation. (I don’t actually believe any of this as I’m sure you realize if you use your brains, but it’s my version of Pascal’s stupid wager, if you know what I mean).

So there is someone who takes a person at his word. Showdown a way our somewhere. As fantasy goes.

“As God is my witness” is almost 7 times more common online than “With God as my witness”, per Google. In books it’s about 12 time more common.

A hybrid version, “As God as my witness”, is much more common online than the “with God” version, even though it doesn’t make sense.

Google Ngrams, which searches books rather than semiliterate Internet postings, has “as God as my witness” much lower than the other two.

People that almost died sometimes see their whole life story before them. Others have a beautiful experience as they pierce the veil for a moment. Most change their lifestyle afterwards. A wise person would follow their example of their change of attitude now and not wait for death. He who snoozes, loses.

…“I thought turkeys could fly”?

Welcome to the Human condition.We’re good at talking to God,but we suck when it comes to listening.

The Devil made me do it!!

As God is my witness, I’m going to Google “With God as my witness”.

Google seems to favor As God… but what Wiley wants, Wiley writes.

Do you Like Kipling?.I don’t know. I never Kipled.