In a similar vein, from the old Odd Couple TV show (sung to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen):
Seasons’ greetings, Oscar, boy – my alimony’s due.If you don’t pay up right away, I’ll get the cops on you,And you’ll spend Christmas in the clink, with other bums like you.
One of the interesting things about military retirement pay is that it is an “estate” and not a salary. A person has to put in 20 years or more to earn it. The spouse only has to put in 10 years (that’s how long the marriage has to last).
So in the case of a divorce, there is no question of alimony, the spouse gets half the pay automatically.
What’s even more confusing is that if the spouse remarries and then dies, the new spouse gets half the pay. It’s an inheritance.
Children and new spouses complicate the equation.
I knew one guy who was so pissed at his ex-wife, he never filed for his retirement pay.
My condolences go out to any readers paying child support. Remember you could always get a part-time minimum wage job that barely pays rent, survive on food stamps, and let the witch starve.
Argythree over 8 years ago
Ain’t love grand…
Dtroutma over 8 years ago
^And can cost you many,argythree.
dadoctah over 8 years ago
In order to have your wages garnished, you have to have a job.
Cozmik Cowboy over 8 years ago
But either way, “garnish” fits the meter of the poem, and thus is correct…..(There’s a reason for the phrase "poetic license, don’t ya know)
whiteheron over 8 years ago
Ya know, there are deadbeat moms as well. Just sayin’.And either one that does should be neutered.
Beleck3 over 8 years ago
lol.
SkyFisher over 8 years ago
Now we should all go look up “Grammar Nazi”.
JudyAz over 8 years ago
and here I thought garnish was parsley!
Dr_Zinj over 8 years ago
Dead beat Dads of the world beware!Pay up now, or pay more later.
Linguist over 8 years ago
Garnishee rhymes with banshee – If I was the garnishee, I’d be screaming like a banshee !
Grammarians aside ( and that’s where they should be put ),thanks Wiley for a real good, laugh-out-loud, moment !
dabugger over 8 years ago
Not a letter from home. Wonder if we should garnish some congressmAn’s wages when they do nothing?
Thehag over 8 years ago
Lets all go with the common usage rule.
Vonne Anton over 8 years ago
This is why I never answer the phone on Father’s Day.
Linguist over 8 years ago
Long ago, when I found out what was causing that paternity problem, I got it fixed !
phoenixnyc over 8 years ago
In a similar vein, from the old Odd Couple TV show (sung to the tune of God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen):
Seasons’ greetings, Oscar, boy – my alimony’s due.If you don’t pay up right away, I’ll get the cops on you,And you’ll spend Christmas in the clink, with other bums like you.
dflak over 8 years ago
One of the interesting things about military retirement pay is that it is an “estate” and not a salary. A person has to put in 20 years or more to earn it. The spouse only has to put in 10 years (that’s how long the marriage has to last).
So in the case of a divorce, there is no question of alimony, the spouse gets half the pay automatically.
What’s even more confusing is that if the spouse remarries and then dies, the new spouse gets half the pay. It’s an inheritance.
Children and new spouses complicate the equation.
I knew one guy who was so pissed at his ex-wife, he never filed for his retirement pay.
Boots at the Boar Premium Member over 8 years ago
My condolences go out to any readers paying child support. Remember you could always get a part-time minimum wage job that barely pays rent, survive on food stamps, and let the witch starve.
Krazgamer over 8 years ago
“Child” support you said. Wouldn’t matter if she was working, YOU ARE the other parent and should contribute to their welfare.
Thomas & Tifffany Connolly over 8 years ago
So profoundly grateful I never had children with what’s her face ex-wife!
natureboyfig4 Premium Member over 8 years ago
Send a bill back to her for rental of the kids! :-P
dawnsfire over 8 years ago
Anyone else feel like they came in during the middle of the story?