Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for October 09, 2015

  1. Lp
    LizardPriest  over 8 years ago

    Ted Cruz is incinerated while attempting to fry bacon using missile exhaust.

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    NeedaChuckle Premium Member over 8 years ago

    In the 50’s some kids built a howitzer from army surplus and started firing into Chicago Stockyards. I guess that is youthful exuberance!

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    Eclectic-1  over 8 years ago

    Ruben must think Castro a progressive. Cannons have been around a long time. The only incident I recall happened on ‘Columbo’. The school incidents happen because kids are taught to be victims.

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    Malcolm Hall  over 8 years ago

    Mr. Carson’s insights are valuable as well. The students should simply charge the house with the missiles. “You may be able to blow up all of us, but ….”He also has pointed out that the first thing a dictatorship does is take away the citizenry’s guided missiles.

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    CletustheBlack  over 8 years ago

    Of course it’s BS. It’s satire. But you’re wrong when you suggest the 2A refers to firearms—-It refers to “arms.”

    And we all know that if you outlaw arms, only outlaws will be able to use a can opener.

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    ickymungmung  over 8 years ago

    Naturally, we will need our education system to include launch codes in the curriculum.

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    michael_orr25  over 8 years ago

    “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” Please point out the part that limits that to firearms & allows outlawing the possession of “crew-served weapons.”

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    King_Shark  over 8 years ago

    Those are SA3 anti aircraft radar guided missiles, not ballistic missiles. Tut tut, Bolling. Tut tut.

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    markjoseph125  over 8 years ago

    Perfect proof that satire is no longer possible. “If a politician isn’t perfectly comfortable with the idea of his average constituent, any man, woman, or responsible child, walking into a hardware store and paying cash — for any rifle, shotgun, handgun, machinegun, anything — without producing ID or signing one scrap of paper, he isn’t your friend no matter what he tells you.” (L. Neil Smith, libertarian gun nut extraordinaire)

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  10. Packrat
    Packratjohn Premium Member over 8 years ago

    Sorta. Crew sets it up, but it only takes one person to launch it. Of course, the new and improved Ronco “megablast” missile is delivered “RTF”, or “ready to fire”, and requires no crew at all! You can be the fear of your neighborhood with only 6 easy payments of 1.6 million each. Plus, we’ll include the downloadable app for your smartphone which allows you to aim and launch your missile from anywhere!

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    makutaking  over 8 years ago

    I would say, due to the targeting restraints of BM’s, being probably Surface to Air Missiles, or SAMs, that it would be pretty hard to aim a defensive missile cluster at a school, if the school wasnt at 32000 feet and moving at 4500 mph.

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    makutaking  over 8 years ago

    hear hear!

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    Purple-Stater Premium Member over 8 years ago

    “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State…”

    This statement was written at a time when there were no plans for a standing military to be able to provide necessary protections. As a well-regulated militia is no longer necessary to our security, there really is no need assume those rights are still there.

    Also, the argument about the need to protect against a tyrannical government doesn’t really hold up either, when the constitution states that one of the purposes of the militia is to suppress insurrection.

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    craigwestlake  over 8 years ago

    Actually Ruben borrowed this idea from a video that was made by one of the retired Monkees. He called it Neighbourhood Nuclear Retaliation.

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    ed anger  over 8 years ago

    shoulder-held rockets, grenades, machine guns, claymores… all arms as well, and outlawed for private citizen use. shocking.

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    BRI-NO-MITE!! Premium Member over 8 years ago

    The average soldier at that time carried a smoothbore.The average colonist had a Pennsylvania or Kentucky long rifle, capable of a longer, more accurate shot. Civilians had superior weapons than the army at that time.

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    BRI-NO-MITE!! Premium Member over 8 years ago

    I read last week that it’s legal in all but two states to own a flame thrower.

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    Packratjohn Premium Member over 8 years ago

    Thanks for the replies to my “Ronco” ad. All good and funny. Reminds me of an ad in Mad Magazine about 100 years ago for a “Quad 40”. The photo showed two guys with a 40mm radar guided anti aircraft emplacement hunting pigeons in Central Park.

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    Kenneth Berkun Premium Member over 8 years ago

    Once again Michael Nesmith is way ahead of his time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGCFmSFvIZw

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    Lord Gaga  over 8 years ago

    If you’re OK with a law that keeps the Tsarnaev brothers from buying an RPG launcher, flame thrower, or tactical nuke; then you already agree that there are, and should be, limits on the 2nd Amendment. All that’s left is to argue about where the line should be drawn.

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    gammaguy  over 8 years ago

    The Constitution says “arms”, not “firearms”. That would include swords, etc. But it also says “bear”, i.e., “carry”. That should exclude ICBMs and even howitzers.

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    Zesty  almost 3 years ago

    WASHINGTON – As soon as it was revealed that a reporter for Progressive Magazine had discovered how to make a hydrogen bomb, a group of firearm zealots formed the National Hydrogen Bomb Assn., and they are now lobbying against any legislation to stop Americans from owning one.

    "The Constitution,” said the association’s spokesman, “gives everyone the right to own and bear arms. It doesn’t spell out what kind of arms. But since anyone can now make a hydrogen bomb the public should be able to buy it to protect themselves.”

    ”Don’t you think it’s dangerous to have one in the house, particularly where there are children around?”

    “The National Hydrogen Bomb Assn. hopes to spend a good portion of its dues on educating people in the safe handling of this type of weapon. We are instructing owners to keep the bomb in a locked closet and the fuse separately in a drawer. We also will hold classes in how to fire the bomb. We believe that if a person knows how to take care of his bomb there is no danger to himself or his family."

    “Some people consider the .hydrogen bomb a very lethal weapon which could kill somebody.”

    The spokesman said, “Hydrogen bombs don’t kill people— people kill people. The bomb is for self-protection and it also has a deterrent effect. If somebody knows you have a nuclear weapon in your house, they’re going to think twice about breaking in.”

    “But those who want to ban the bomb for American citizens claim that if you have one locked in the closet, with the fuse in a drawer, you would never be able to assemble it in time to repulse an intruder.”

    ”That’s garbage put out by the antinuclear weapon people. We are only advocating ownership of hydrogen weapons by law-abiding citizens. If someone commits a crime with one, he should get a stiff jail sentence.”

    — Art Buchwald, 1979

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