Randolph Itch, 2 a.m. by Tom Toles for October 13, 2016

The threads are only for taking them out.

A pair of vise grips to remove the screw. And then install a new screw with a screwdriver. Plus a little common sense would help.

Use a screw gun to shoot screws. Use self drilling screws and fresh bits. Pilot drill if the wood is a hardwood, thin, old, dry, brittle, or near a knot.

a bigger hammer

I’m no handyman, but I know what kind of wrench to use to hammer in a screw.

Vice Grips!