Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau for November 17, 2012

That wonderful Walden education hasn’t been wasted.

Hey, maybe Zip’s smarter than we ever knew! Especially if he managed to finagle a steady income from his Uncle Zonk. Here saw a cop show, remembered the plot, and now applies it to Walden president King in order to learn and perhaps profit from the info. Stay tuned.

(I don’t KNOW the income part to be a fact, but I suspect it is, since we know that Uncle Zonk won $23 million from a lottery ticket.)

With Zonker, it ’s : " The Case of the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy ".

The $23 million where wasted many years ago on Uncle Duke. He was kidnapped and Zonker bought him free.

That trick usually does work

This could result in the first time a university student gets involuntarily graduated.

The slacker scores! Beautiful!

How old IS HE? 42?

Unlike his uncle, the renowned Malibu tannist Zonker Harris, Zipper was born and raised in Northern California. Thanks to a legacy scholarship, and following a family tradition now two generations old, he is currently a receiver on the Walden College football team. In a radical break with his forbearer and hero he is, however, occasionally dating. Zipper was co-founder, along with roommate Jeff Redfern, of myVulture.com. He made an unsuccessful attempt to download and license the real time wireless output from Dick Cheney’s defibrillator. Harris maintains a blog primarily devoted to his stop sign collection.

Above info from:

http://ext.stage.doonesbury.com/strip/cast/member/21

Too funny! Still LMAO!

Note that Zipper attends Walden, “Thanks to a legacy scholarship, and following a family tradition now two generations old, he is currently a receiver on the Walden College football team.”

If Walden goes “for profit” and if the Walden College football team players start getting paid, Zipper will start getting paid. Thus, “legacy scholarship” + “wages from playing football on the Walden team” = more money for Zip. As perpetual tenured student he could be catching pigskins for pay till he’s too old to keep up and retires. Even then he might stay on as tenured perpetual student till he finally retires as Zipper Harris, perpetual student Emeratis. Meaning, perhaps, he still has access to campus facility, such as free cafeteria food, free access to the student union, discounts at the student store where he can presumably buy football sweaters to keep warm, hygiene supplies, MP3 players, laptops, iPhones and the like at a discount.

Plus, since — unlike his Uncle Zonk — he dates and is interested in girls, he just might find a tenured perpetual female student to date and share an apartment, if not get married. “Two can live as cheaply as one.”

Why does that sound so, so, uh, forlorn somehow? Because they’ll never graduate and get real jobs?

I asked my cousin after he received his first MA why he was still at U of MA. He said he was going for a second MA and the money from grants from the feds for ridiculous projects he was working on was better than the real world.

After a brief spell of living in ostentatious luxury, Zonker blew his remaining fortune to ransom Duke from the clutches of the Zombie Cucumber, which had Duke in a catatonic state. (Even for Duke.) His first waking words, after hearing what Z. had spent to rescue him, were “You idiot!”

Q: is [aka]Y__e[Walden] College only living by street smarts, or also teaching the skills? Zip seems fully educated on SkidRow, yet here he says otherwise. How is it that the two educational entities have so much in common?

I saw that show too. I think it was Banacek.