Comments (27) (Please sign in to comment)

1. 

   Linguist said, 6 months ago

   That wonderful Walden education hasn’t been wasted.
2. 

   DylanThomas3.14159 said, 6 months ago

   Hey, maybe Zip’s smarter than we ever knew! Especially if he managed to finagle a steady income from his Uncle Zonk. Here saw a cop show, remembered the plot, and now applies it to Walden president King in order to learn and perhaps profit from the info. Stay tuned.
   

   
   (I don’t KNOW the income part to be a fact, but I suspect it is, since we know that Uncle Zonk won $23 million from a lottery ticket.)
3. 

   Night-Gaunt49 said, 6 months ago

   It seems his rumor became reality post facto. I can see that as being real.
4. 

   capndunzzl said, 6 months ago

   ….TV vs books.
5. 

   Linguist said, 6 months ago

   With Zonker, it ’s : " The Case of the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy ".
6. 

   Stig Bang-Mortensen said, 6 months ago

   The $23 million where wasted many years ago on Uncle Duke. He was kidnapped and Zonker bought him free.
7. 

   doctorwho29 said, 6 months ago

   That trick usually does work
8. 

   Peabody-Martini said, 6 months ago

   This could result in the first time a university student gets involuntarily graduated.
9. 

   Bill Weinberg said, 6 months ago

   The slacker scores! Beautiful!
10. 

    38lowell said, 6 months ago

    How old IS HE?
    42?
11. 

    DylanThomas3.14159 said, 6 months ago

    Unlike his uncle, the renowned Malibu tannist Zonker Harris, Zipper was born and raised in Northern California. Thanks to a legacy scholarship, and following a family tradition now two generations old, he is currently a receiver on the Walden College football team. In a radical break with his forbearer and hero he is, however, occasionally dating. Zipper was co-founder, along with roommate Jeff Redfern, of myVulture.com. He made an unsuccessful attempt to download and license the real time wireless output from Dick Cheney’s defibrillator. Harris maintains a blog primarily devoted to his stop sign collection.
12. 

    DylanThomas3.14159 said, 6 months ago

    Above info from:
    

    
    http://ext.stage.doonesbury.com/strip/cast/member/21
13. 

    TheSkulker said, 6 months ago

    Too funny! Still LMAO!
14. 

    DylanThomas3.14159 said, 6 months ago

    Note that Zipper attends Walden, “Thanks to a legacy scholarship, and following a family tradition now two generations old, he is currently a receiver on the Walden College football team.”
    

    
    If Walden goes “for profit” and if the Walden College football team players start getting paid, Zipper will start getting paid. Thus, “legacy scholarship” + “wages from playing football on the Walden team” = more money for Zip. As perpetual tenured student he could be catching pigskins for pay till he’s too old to keep up and retires. Even then he might stay on as tenured perpetual student till he finally retires as Zipper Harris, perpetual student Emeratis. Meaning, perhaps, he still has access to campus facility, such as free cafeteria food, free access to the student union, discounts at the student store where he can presumably buy football sweaters to keep warm, hygiene supplies, MP3 players, laptops, iPhones and the like at a discount.
    

    
    Plus, since — unlike his Uncle Zonk — he dates and is interested in girls, he just might find a tenured perpetual female student to date and share an apartment, if not get married. “Two can live as cheaply as one.”
    

    
    Why does that sound so, so, uh, forlorn somehow? Because they’ll never graduate and get real jobs?
15. 

    Larry said, 6 months ago

    I asked my cousin after he received his first MA why he was still at U of MA. He said he was going for a second MA and the money from grants from the feds for ridiculous projects he was working on was better than the real world.
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