Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for November 08, 2015
Tahiti Jones: That new pirate Queen is quite delicious! Narrator: A portly villain has the hots for Cobra! Who could blame him? Man: Smokin' hot? Tahiti Jones: Why didn't you tell me she was so resplendent? To think, I nearly went out on a date with one of the villagers' granddaughters! Man: The cutting of the throat has been-delayed! Man 2: Nuts! Maybe we can find something to watch on Netflix. Tahiti Jones: And to think, I nearly had her killed! My goatee would never forgive me! Narrator : Meanwhile, outside the palace walls- TNT: This place is locked up tighter than a moe's burrito. Rip Haywire: There's got to be a way in! Hey! Do you hear that? It's a helicopter! TNT: Great. We can charter a flight off this stank atoll. Rip Haywire: Or we can use it to get over the palace walls! TNT: I only fly planes. Rip Haywire: But I can fly a chopper! TNT: Um, that's not flying, that's attempted murder. Rip Haywire: Dogs are property, let's go.