Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for May 10, 2013
Goon: We are prepared to kill the pirate queen for you, master. Master: Sweet - is this one as ugly as the others? Master wants a peep! Egad! She's no unsightly wench. She's, she's... Goon: Smokin' hot? Master: Why didn't you tell me she was so resplendent? To think, I nearly went out on a date with one of the villagers' granddaughters! Goon: The cutting of the throat has been - delayed! Goon: Nuts! Maybe we can find something to watch on Netflix.