Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for March 02, 2017
oop: there - how's that? man: it needs more tension on the #3 wire! lurch. highly unstable. requires patience, some u-bolts and lots of piano wire. oop: plug it in. i did. black hole fir. un-usually dense foliage absorbs lights, baubles, garlands, even tinsel! man: hey, is this cool? cannabis spruce. sap is extremely mellowing on contact. may cause irresponsible behavior. a. b. oop: that looks awful platonic fir. perhaps too ideal. renders all attempts at ornamen-tation superfluous. callow balsam. good for homes with preschool-craft-project construction-paper & glitter decor. mr. scrubby potty brush. easy installation! child-friendly! hung on a door it doubles as a wreath!