Matt Bors for February 16, 2016
Justice Scalia died! First thing we must do is show DECORUM and RESPECT. Man #1: A brilliant legal thinker on the existential threat of gay sex. Man #2: A scholar on executing the mentally disabled! You absolutely must not politicize his death. There is nothing political happening! Sunday Takes Woman: Merely one man whose rulings affecting each AND every one of us. I don't even get why we're mentioning it! Certainly he cannot be replaced until next year. Obama doesn't even have that power, starting now. Marco Rubio: My hypothetical future presidency is actually in charge of appointments happening today. Per the constitution! Oh, and they must be very, very conservative, as must all future justices, forever, until time ends. Man #1: Actual cavemen, in fact. It's the law! Man #2: George Washington wrote these very famous rules.
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