The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for August 24, 2012
August 23, 2012
August 25, 2012
Transcript:
Brutus: Did you know that every time you take a drink of alcohol...
Brutus: You destroy some of your brain cells?
Wastrel: Good thing I was born a genius!
It’s not just booze, I’ve heard weed will do that too, most illegal drugs, many legal things too. I guess that is why older people have such poor memory.
“Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
robin.axten Premium Member over 11 years ago
Love the hat!
angelfiredragon over 11 years ago
It’s not just booze, I’ve heard weed will do that too, most illegal drugs, many legal things too. I guess that is why older people have such poor memory.
John Lamb Premium Member over 11 years ago
It only kills the weak ones.
philyfanstukinmi over 11 years ago
“Well, you see, Norm, it’s like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it’s the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”
Cliff Claven
REDROCKER51 over 11 years ago
@ phily…Gee..don’t go off on a rant or anything…..LOL
Comedy Critic over 11 years ago
Booze doesn’t kill brain cellsit just makes new ones grow slower