Jen Sorensen for February 28, 2024

USA is a madhouse.

You cannot satirize Republicans.

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Embryos are people? Because Pro ‘Life’?

Based on the Bible?

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Maybe a Trump Disciple can explain exactly what part of the Bible says that embryos are people. I’m sure they can fit an explanation like that onto a bumper sticker.

I say we confuse them and spread the word.

SOYLENT GREEN ARE PEOPLE!

Once they’re born, they no longer matter to the QOP.

Jen, love the biological snippets as well as the whole comic.

They are the perfect human to “fight for” because they can’t express their own thoughts. The "advocates " get to use their own words.

Turberville, whose experience as a coach believes his blunders are brilliant. He states that we need more kids. As Ms Sorenson writes we need more children laboring in the workforce.

Reptilicans will fight like hell for any stage of human life… until birth occurs.

Then, all care and concern “life support” comes to an abrupt halt.

… except for those born with a silver spoon.

Still wondering where they think those same spoons — or bootstraps, for the spoonless others — are hidden on newborns’ bodies.

Okay, so let’s say that some poor guy from some violence-ridden Central American country takes off for America’s southern border, but not just for his own safety, but also for the safety of, say, 100 frozen embryos, but the ice packs in his cooler are about to give out. (He’s a frozen embryo activist and has been moved to do something desperate to prevent the murders of thousands of these each year in his country.) He makes it to the razor wire there in the Rio Grande at the Texas border. Yet, as close he is, the brave man gets caught in the wire and can’t extricate himself, his energy sapped from his long journey. He drowns. His cooler floats away. The ice packs eventually give out, and the embryos perish, their deaths being the result of a slow, horrific thawification. Right, so in this scenario, wouldn’t Gregg Abbott have to be charged with 100 counts of murders? (Of course, it wouldn’t be 101 counts simply because the actual feeling, thinking, walking, talking, breathing human wouldn’t matter here.) I’m tellin’ ya. If Democrats shared my hypothetical here, I suspect their buds across the aisle might reconsider their stance on this IVF stuff. I’m just sayin’.

Counting down the minutes for the first mass / serial murder trial of some hapless person when the IVR clinic power goes out.

(It sure as heck will never be a corporation dragged through the courts — or else, if so, that bidniz will NEVER “get the business,” just a free pass from SCROTUS, under some newly rescrambled, transitory logic.)

Every frog egg doesn’t get to be a polywog.

Every polywog doesn’t get to be a frog.

Jen crushes it into the cheap seats.

You haven’t thought it through Jen. If they are “people” then they must be counted on the census. Talabama will claim 250,000,000 new citizens that only require liquid nitrogen, and rule the USA forever.

It’s official: Pandora’s Box has now been opened.

Please turn to today’s hymnal for a rousing — but not too arousing — rendition of “Every Sperm is Sacred” from The Monty Python Meaning of Life tract-screed-dogma-thing.

And a-one, and a-two…

If it weren’t for Republicans, we wouldn’t have fresh material for professional comedians.

I wonder how many embryos have been frozen for 18 years or more? And who will count their votes?

I had two chickens for breakfast this morning, overeasy, with toast and bacon…..

Oh heck, I’ll bet you could train the 2 celled ones to herd nutritional yeast or something.

If you NEED a uterus, you have rights.

If you HAVE a uterus, you do not.

Isn’t she sweet? I think I’ll name her, um…..Gastrula!

Well, the Catholics go on about, “every sperm is sacred”. So a real live embryo must be REAL IMPORTANT. Check out Eric Idle’s song, Every Sperm Is Sacred. It gets right to the heart of this theological crises.