Crabgrass by Tauhid Bondia for November 15, 2022

Definitely don’t want to comment matricide, do you, ma’am?

That would be one way to get out of making the meal.

Ok, you can get up and cook the meal, and I’ll sit on the couch and watch Macy’s parade and the football games, p.s. don’t forget the side dishes and the clean up after the meal

Tread carefully, Eugene. that is, unless you don’t want to watch your son grow up…

“Keep talking. I’ve always dreamt of becoming a widow…”

“You know, cooking thanksgiving’s requires a lot of dexterity with knives, and since it’s once a year, I think I’m a little rusty. So how about I practice on you?”

Even if you use the same menu (and no one really does) simply the logistics of a big meal are daunting… Except to the clueless twits who simply eat and then wander off to watch football and fall asleep on the couch.

If she really wanted to kill him, she’d make him cook the meal. And eat it.

Just how sharp is Eugene, anyway?

Don’t mess with cooks—they have big knives and they know how to use them.

You know Gene, you could give Donna a hand with the food.

I’ve been doing the “big spread” every year for over 35 years, and I don’t really find it daunting at all. Pies and bars on Tuesday and Wednesday, get started cooking/drinking Thursday morning, flip the game on when it starts, and chase people out of the kitchen until it’s all ready.

Honest to gawd. . .this usta be us when all members of my family were still alive. Now it’s just me and my sister. We have filet mignon, baked potato with fixins, and some kind of veggie. Oh, yeah, and pumpkin pie. . .NO stress, no melodrama. One of my friends is all in a dither this year because her grandson wants Chinese. . .I mean, really—you’d think the world was going to end. . .

“Stand”

Haha, dad, I bet you didn’t even make that sandwich yourself! Funny how people can be so secure and confident in their ignorance.

Be careful dad. Be VERY careful

And need we reminds you that your son hates Thanksgiving with a passion?

Finally! He’s going to get to see how hard cooking is. It takes timing, patience, and grit.

DANG…