Steve Kelley for December 24, 2021

On our landline, we get something close to 6 spam calls a day. Some days double, some days none (And boy is THAT enjoyable!). We also get a “real” call maybe once every week or two. That’s at least 95% spam calls. If you call us, now, you have about 3 seconds to start talking (I suggest “Hello, this is name calling from place”) or we hang up. And if it’s a recording or artificial voice? Hang up. Because SOME of the reasons to spam you include getting you to say “uh-huh” or “yes” which they can use to record a “conversation” in which they offer something at a price and you say “yes”.

When the telemarketers call my place, I have fun with them, depending on who they are working for.

I have software that blocks most of them. But yeah, if I’m in the mood I come up with some interesting interactions that results in them hanging up and never calling back. For example: Life Insurance – they ask my year of birth and I respond 1757, because I am a vampire (click). Medicare Advantage Plan – they ask what benefits I would like and I respond ‘unlimited blood bank access’ because I am a vampire (click)., etc.

I don’t get it what the list have to do with the warranty?

Well Done Steve!

I mainly use a VOIP landline and if I don’t recognize the number just pick-up/hang up so it does not even go to voice mail. However for many of the people making the calls, this is a job of last resort(if they are American) many may be disabled and working in a call center may be one of the few jobs they can do. They know they are annoying people and take a lot of abuse, all for low pay, pressure to meet sales quotas and having their calls monitored by their supervisior. Given a choice I would opt to work washing dishes at Denny’s than a call center.

Guessing that Kelley’s ‘font of creativity’ was barely trickling today…

I like the one I am getting lately. There has been a package confiscated at the border addressed to you.. with contraband in it. There is a warrant out for your arrest.. press one to speak to an agent.

My phone has a special ring for robo-calls. I don’t answer them.

Our friend gets them all of the time and he as never driven (or owned) a car….

A speaker I heard years ago would interrupt telemarketers with his spiel about his book he’d written. They’d hang up.

I tell them how much my business charges per 1/4 minute to speak with them on MY phone line.

Who don’t!

If I have time to waste, I string them along… ask them all kinds of questions – some even pertaining to the policy… when they want to sign up my newish car, I tell them that I don’t have that car anymore but would like to sign up my new car… they get all excited until they find out that my “new car” is a 1986 van, then they usually hang up on me…

Next time one of these morons calls (though most are robocalls), try behaving like John Cleese in Monty Python’s “Dead Parrot” sketch. I explained the situation to the caller thusly: "That car was totaled. It is no more, extinct, it’s run out the clock and been junked. It is an ex-automobile. GOT THAT???

Just don’t pick-up or hang-up. The people actually making the do not own the business/decide who call. The calls are computer generated and they HAVE to read from a script, it is hard work; why make it harder for them? They also have a quota and the more you jerk them around the less likely they will be able to meet it and likely be fired only to be replaced by another desperate working stiff.

https://notthebee.com/article/uh-oh-bidens-economic-approval-ratings-are-so-bad-hes-doing-worse-than-jimmy-carter

^ Relevance to Kelley’s toon?