Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 25, 2011
March 18, 2011
April 01, 2011
Transcript:
Tom the Dancing Bug's Super-Fun-Pak Comix Edited by Ruben Bolling Recap Man Recap Man: So your plan is to use your army of cyborgs to destroy middle city?! Robot: Yes, yes! But I'll never GET TO IT if you keep recapping the plot in the first panel!! Recap Man: Let me get this straight... Next - RECAP!! Three-Act Screenplay Structure Funnies Man: I want a cookie! Man: Oh, no! I'll never get it! TRIP Man: No, wait! I got it! Ghost of James Caan James Caan Ghost: Son, you don't understand! Director: Cut! Director: Ghost of James Caan, you're just not right for the part. James Caan Ghost: It's because I'm a ghost, isn't it? Director: See if the actual James Caan is available. Aide: He is. Fabulous Guy, In A Moment of Reflection Man: Sure, there are lots of "fabulous guys" out there... Man: But I'm different. I'm deep. Special. UNIQUE! Man #2: This isn't a mirror, jerkoff. Man: Oh sorry. Percival Dunwoody, Idiot Time Traveler From 1909 Percival: Your 21st century is so progressive! Percival: It's even illegal to have Norwegian slaves! Man: It's NEVER been legal to have Norwegian slaves! Percival: Right. I have to go back to 1909... If you like the Whoopee Cushion, you'll love... the Whoopee Whoopi! $5.95 Before your friends sits down, slip Whoopi Goldberg on his choir, and laugh at the hilarious sounds that ensue! - Yes, rush me a Whoopee Whoopi! Check or money order is enclosed! - No, do not send me a Whoopee Whoopi. - Why on earth would Whoopi Goldberg agree to this? She's a talented actress with a successful television show. - It is against my religion to check all boxes in advertising forms, so please take my silence as a binding agreement to purchase a Whoopee Whoopi, and send me one immediately, C.O.D. - Is Meredith Vieira available? - I am Whoopi Goldberg, and I can tell you right now I never agreed to this, honey. - I would prefer to go to Whoopi Goldberg's house and have her sit on me. Check or money order is enclosed. CUT OUT AND SEND TO: Whoopee Whoopi c/o Whoopee Novelty, LLC WABC Television New York, NY Upon Ms. Goldberg's arrival, please have a veggie platter, two (2) cans of bacon ranch Pringles, and six (6) bottles of Perrier ready. No exceptions or substitutions (See rider.)
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aprilglaspie about 13 years ago
We’re not just No. 1, we’re exceptional.
hugh_jainus about 13 years ago
Finally. A perfect use for Whoopie. THE most nauseating “actress” on planet earth.
fritzoid Premium Member about 13 years ago
It’s a shame you feel that way, hugh. She always speaks well of YOU…
ickymungmung about 13 years ago
If you add Recap Man to the Three Act Screenplay Structure you’ll have attained the 4 Act structure, spoken of in myth and legend. Whoopeeeeee!!!!
fritzoid Premium Member about 13 years ago
I’m with you, hogenmogen. Bolling’s name-calling of Mr. Dunwoody as an “idiot”, simply because he’s outraged by our Government’s banning of Norwegian slavery, shows his (Bolling’s) contempt for the free-wheeling Capitalist individualism that made America great. Why SHOULD it be illegal to own Norwegian slaves? Dunwoody can presumably afford it. Nobody asked the Norwegians to come here in the first place, and as slaves in America they’d no doubt be happier than as so-called “free” men under the iron yoke of Socialism, like they have in Norwegia.
hugh_jainus about 13 years ago
fritz & homogen: move to Norway. Or Madison, Wisconsin, and join a public union if you like socialism so much.
http://www.moonbattery.com/archives/2011/03/imaginary-line.html
BrianCrook about 13 years ago
Very funny, Hogen. Thanks.
MisngNOLA about 13 years ago
I think Hugh’s comment was even funnier, albeit unintendedly.
dante.deangelo about 13 years ago
can you say jerkoff in a comic?
fritzoid Premium Member about 13 years ago
dante, it doesn’t surprise me that you can say it in a comic, but I’m surprised you can say it in a comment.