Birdbrains by Thom Bluemel for September 28, 2021

Don’t worry, no matter which one you decide on, everyone will leave you alone.

You don’t want to go in there after they do a number 3.

You talk like a Star Treck-Klingon

And you dance the Gangnam Style, yeah

Your clothes are all made by nothing

And there’s slimesnakes and curls in your hair, yes, there are

You live in no fancy apartment

Off a public rest-a-room

Where you keep your “Voyager” record

And now you feel just like you’re doomed, yes, you do

But where do you go to, my ugly

When you’re on this strange planet?

Tell me the pressure that got you

Don’t want to look inside your head, no, I don’t (UUUURRRGH!!!!)

What to do, what to do-do

What?! No facilities for a one-eyed monster? WELL!!!

What do you think you want to be identified as? Go with that.

Damn, gonna have to use the floor again.

I never heard a toilet described as a bummer but it makes sense.

It’s easy. Which one did you eat last?

That makes sense.