The Wisconsin State Lottery tries to put the best face on the scam it’s running like this: “Of every dollar spent on lottery products, approximately 57¢ is paid in prizes, 30¢ goes to property-tax credits, 6¢ to neighborhood businesses, and 7¢ to operational expenses.”
I’ve got an even better deal. I call it the Russell Lottery. Its great advantage over Wisconsin’s shabby equivalent is that, in mine, every player is a winner every time. Here’s how it works: You send me $10, and I send you back $6. That’s 60¢ on the dollar, also a better deal than theirs. An identical 30¢ on the dollar goes to relieve property taxes (mine), and I promise to spend the same 6¢ out of every buck at the corner bar, certainly a local business.
How can I do it? I keep my administrative expenses low, low, low. I stocked up on forever stamps back when they were only 40¢ each, and that’s all it takes to mail you your $6 check. Such a deal, right?
enigmamz over 4 years ago
“This ticket is defective! I demand to see the Governor!”
!!ǝlɐ⅁ Premium Member over 4 years ago
No consolation prizes available, and no goodie bags, either!
sandpiper over 4 years ago
Actually you do get to keep your losing ticket as a memento. All it’s good for anyway.
1953Baby over 4 years ago
Why would I donate to someone else’s prize? When did these silly things get started, anyway?
InTraining over 4 years ago
so better off to just buy that six-pack and go home a without losing anything…!
Richard S Russell Premium Member over 4 years ago
The Wisconsin State Lottery tries to put the best face on the scam it’s running like this: “Of every dollar spent on lottery products, approximately 57¢ is paid in prizes, 30¢ goes to property-tax credits, 6¢ to neighborhood businesses, and 7¢ to operational expenses.”
I’ve got an even better deal. I call it the Russell Lottery. Its great advantage over Wisconsin’s shabby equivalent is that, in mine, every player is a winner every time. Here’s how it works: You send me $10, and I send you back $6. That’s 60¢ on the dollar, also a better deal than theirs. An identical 30¢ on the dollar goes to relieve property taxes (mine), and I promise to spend the same 6¢ out of every buck at the corner bar, certainly a local business.
How can I do it? I keep my administrative expenses low, low, low. I stocked up on forever stamps back when they were only 40¢ each, and that’s all it takes to mail you your $6 check. Such a deal, right?
dwpbike over 4 years ago
the only legal way to join the 1%
Leojim over 4 years ago
The lottery is indeed a tax on those who are inept at math.
Madzdad the bard over 4 years ago
Lotteries are just a tax on those who cannot do math.
Hippogriff over 4 years ago
It is often a tax on desperation.
Earnestly Frank over 4 years ago
My psychic told me that I was not going to win the lottery. So I didn’t buy a ticket. He’s been right every time.