Cow and Boy Classics by Mark Leiknes for March 12, 2021

Transcript:

"My reflection. This is how the world sees me. No matter how cool I may be on the inside, most people will never be able to look past this thin layer of skin. They will judge me solely by my appearance. It's a shame." "Wow. That is a shame." "What's that supposed to mean? You think I'm ugly?" "I was just agreeing that it's a shame that as far as we've come as a society, so much in this day and age is still based on looks. That, and I think you're ugly too." "What?!" "Well, for instance, your ears could reside a little closer to your head and your face symmetry might be helped if your eyes were the same size. A good eight years of orthodontia might take care of that overbite." "Well...well...At least I'm not a cow!!" "I'm not sure I understand that outburst. As far as cows go, I'm not too shabby. I did take second place at the state fair. You on the other hand might place high in a pageant for goblins." "FYI, you might want to internalize your grief a little more. When you cry, you look like a constipated elf." "W-want to b-be alone now."