Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for December 06, 2019
December 05, 2019
December 07, 2019
Transcript:
lonesome pine. moody and neurotic. a poor choice for holiday depressives. off-gassing balsam. exudes a piney scent that can erode your sinuses in seconds. mmmm-fresh! cubist fir. so asymmetri-cal it no longer inhabits euclidean space. and just try turnng it so the bad side is against the wall. oop: agh! my eye! widowmaker spruce spikey, venomous needles. good challenge for extreme decoration enthusiasts. pine: ptui haughty pine, rejects ornaments not handmade by old bavarian craftsmen that cost a small fortune. early warning fir. keels over in a faint in the event of a nation-al emergency. unhelpful.
DCBakerEsq over 4 years ago
FOUL-MOUTHED BALSAM. Offers biting criticism of other holiday decorations. Unforgiving of dated home furnishings and uncouth relatives.
WCraft Premium Member over 4 years ago
How can you add anything to comedy like this? Kudos!
Sisyphos over 4 years ago
All trees are in some way defective. This must be one of those “cautionary tales” I’ve heard of….