Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for September 16, 2019
September 15, 2019
September 17, 2019
Transcript:
father's day special by emma t. age 4 1/2 emma: my dad suffers from paternal explanatory syndrome, also know as drivelalia factosis. "i first identified it on a trip out west last year." oop: see, emma, that's a volcano! magma under-ground builds up this huge pressure until it blows right out of the mountain & makes a giant mess like when you stepped on that twinkie & white stuff went all over the dining room flo - emma! stop chasing chipmunks! come look at this volcano! emma: daaad "p.e.s. is hereditary on the male side." dad: the carburetor is the most elegant device known to man. allow me to demostrate... my dad & his dad, circa 1967. "it's been around for a long, long time." caveman: gravity is caused by static electricity in rocks. see? like when you rub 2 chipmunks together. daughter: nng. "i'm learning to cope with it." oop: hey emma, did you know that tic-tac-toe was invented by the ancient egyptians? only they called it ptic-ptac-ptoe. emma: uh-huh. "and i hope my sister will, too." oop: look charlotte, it's fossilized dinosaur poop! the scientists who study stuff like that are called paleopoopologists. charlotte: nng. palapoophog.
DCBakerEsq over 4 years ago
Without dads, we’d all be ignorant nincompoops.
AndrewSihler over 4 years ago
Tic-tac-toe used to be a kind of dance, the game matrix was originally a diagram drawn on the floor. Something like a sword-dance only for two people. The dance itself fell out of favor because of objections to its obscene nature (the fate of many a popular dance—you’d be amazed at what people used to think of the waltz) and even the name itself was thought to be a little close to the bone. In Britain, it’s called “Naughts and Crosses”.
John W Kennedy Premium Member over 4 years ago
Ptic-ptac-ptoe would have to have come from the Greek period, after Egypt was conquered by Alexander the Great, because ancient Egyptian itself does not have words beginning with the /pt/ sound; that’s a Greek trick. And someone who studies dinosaur poop is called a coprolitologist.
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] over 4 years ago
Good old Ptolemy who wasn’t Egyptian. He walked like a Greek.
Coprolites. Good old fossilized excreta. Trace fossils.
https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=coprolites
Sisyphos over 4 years ago
This a real, serious syndrome. We should not make fun of dads who suffer from PES….