Frazz by Jef Mallett for November 16, 2016

Safety first!

Carry them in a outhouse on a tractor?

A John Deere deer john?

I did that with a human size stuffed animal, with a paw negligently drapped over the open window. You wouldn’t believe the success I had.

HOV lane?

The deer called “shotgun!” Bad choice…

Not a new demographic; hunters are already ridiculously regulated (or didn’t you know that a fascist game warden can arrest you for hunting too near a feed lot that you had no idea existed and he can’t point out because it’s too distant?). Strapping a deer to the outside of a car sounds like a formula for spoilage. Anything you’re going to eat belongs in a cooler.

The little girl must be a disgruntled Democrat.

My great-uncle used to subsistence hunt elk, even out of season. When he had fresh meat, he would send a post-card to my grandfather inviting them over for some “side-hill salmon”.

Maybe take them out to eat? Show them a nice time.

When I was working, I saw many cars damaged from hitting deer…. Or from deer hitting the car… In one case, I saw an 8 point rack embedded in a BMW convertible windshield… In another, a deer came through the driver’s side window of an SUV… It’s amazing that the driver wasn’t injured. He only got some superficial cuts from the exploding door glass. Then, there was the Volvo station wagon with hoof prints on its roof, the Jeep Wrangler top which was chewed through from the inside by a frightened squirrel and the new Ford pickup with tooth marks all over its hood – The owner was hauling hay and got mobbed by hungry horses.

I also looked at a guy’s Honda who insisted he had hit a beaver. (In the DC suburbs!) The claims department was skeptical, but I could confirm it. Not only were beaver parts stuck to the Honda undercarriage, but I drove past a dead beaver on the road on my way to see his car. ……. My friend in Alberta had me beat. He routinely looked at the remains of cars which had hit or been hit by moose.

If you belt one in, go somewhere, and lock the doors so somebody doesn’t steal it, #YMBAR

Without hunting season we’d need about 400,000 wolves running around in Michigan alone Coyotes can only do so much…..They do help though…………Or we could introduce dingoes I suppose….But we all know somebody’s baby is going to be taken by the dingoes……So already you’re dealing with a PR thing……

When I collected a cougar from Predator Control (Wildlife Management) for the University collection I did strap it into the passenger seat of my MGB and drove back to Vancouver — with the top down!

We kept the deer on the outside after we discovered that the ticks migrated off the deer and onto the passengers. Not fun…