Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 20, 2016

Transcript:

Richard's Poor Almanac By Richard Thompson A brief history of Washington's cherry trees guaranteed 85% true! The notion of importing Japanese flowering cherry trees to DC originated with Mrs. Eliza Ruhamah Scidmore, who, beginning in 1885, crusaded for 25 years to convince the superintendent of Public Buildings & Grounds to add the lovely trees to DC's landscape. Superintendent, please, I beg you- Faugh! Desist, woman. Peddle your moonshine elsewhere. Think of the postcards! Finally, in 1910, with help from First Lady Helen Taft, Mrs. Scidmore succeeded & a shipment of trees arrived from Japan. Sadly, they (the trees) were infested with vermin, disease & Mothra and had to be destroyed. In 1912 some healthy trees arrived from Japan, & today DC's parts post and almost 4000 cherry trees! Such is their luminous beauty at full bloom that, on first sighting them, tourists have been known to spontaneously speak in haiku. $%%# This traffic. Where'm I gonna park the moon? Hey look, paddle boats! Which is why all lovers of beauty & postcard vendors say, thank you, Mrs. Eliza Rumahah Scidmore!