Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for August 28, 2015

Transcript:

restaurant closings the following establishments have been closed for health code violations. moe's fresh fruit stand - produce badly damaged in collision during zany high-speed car chase starring jackie chan. o'bleary's 5723 irish pub o'bleary's irish pub - featured band keeps playing that damn unicorn song. futurismo futurismo cyber cafe - soylent green found to contain tofu, not people. p.j. piehole's family place kid: aagh p.j. piehole's family place - meat & vegetable courses offered on children's menu allowed to touch each other. filibuster inn of capitol hill filibuster inn of capitol hill - new "dubya special" (p.b. & j. on wonder bread) strickens over 20 diners with peanut allergies. starbucks coffee starbucks coffee starbucks inside another starbucks - broke law of physics stating that two objects cannot occupy the same space simultaneously.